World’s worst wake-up lines

By Holly Lisle

There have to be worse ways to wake up, but, “Mommy, I pooped on my pizza” will drag a mother from dead unconscious to bolt upright in .37 seconds flat.

Of course, it doesn’t make any sense, and the child who said it — in clear, ringing tones — was sound asleep when he uttered this phrase … and didn’t bother to wake himself up with this little declaration. But it sure brought my sleep-time to a screeching halt.

Good morning. I’m working now, wearing the frazzled — yet still weirdly grateful — air of someone who just missed being run over by a bus on the way to work.

Kids.

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