World’s worst wake-up lines

There have to be worse ways to wake up, but, “Mommy, I pooped on my pizza” will drag a mother from dead unconscious to bolt upright in .37 seconds flat.

Of course, it doesn’t make any sense, and the child who said it — in clear, ringing tones — was sound asleep when he uttered this phrase … and didn’t bother to wake himself up with this little declaration. But it sure brought my sleep-time to a screeching halt.

Good morning. I’m working now, wearing the frazzled — yet still weirdly grateful — air of someone who just missed being run over by a bus on the way to work.


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By Holly

Novelist, writing teacher, on a mission to reprint my out-of-print books and indie-publish my new ones.

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Robert A. Sloan
2023 years ago

ROTFLMAOPIMP! Read your snippet first and then this…

Okay, now I know where you get your inspiration… (Will you keep your roots out of Holly’s blog, you nutty alien plant-thing?)

Robert and Ari >^..^<

2023 years ago

But it’s going to make it into a novel someday, isn’t it …

Jim W
Jim W
2023 years ago

That ranks up there with the time (I wasn’t there) when Jann reported that Jeanna had chocolate pudding between her toes — through her shoes and socks.

Liked the snippet from today also.

Take care.

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