World’s worst wake-up lines

There have to be worse ways to wake up, but, “Mommy, I pooped on my pizza” will drag a mother from dead unconscious to bolt upright in .37 seconds flat.

Of course, it doesn’t make any sense, and the child who said it — in clear, ringing tones — was sound asleep when he uttered this phrase … and didn’t bother to wake himself up with this little declaration. But it sure brought my sleep-time to a screeching halt.

Good morning. I’m working now, wearing the frazzled — yet still weirdly grateful — air of someone who just missed being run over by a bus on the way to work.

Kids.

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About the author: Novelist, writing teacher, on a mission to reprint my out-of-print books and self-publish my new ones.

3 comments… add one
  • Robert A. Sloan Sep 5, 2002 @ 12:52

    ROTFLMAOPIMP! Read your snippet first and then this…

    Okay, now I know where you get your inspiration… (Will you keep your roots out of Holly’s blog, you nutty alien plant-thing?)

    Robert and Ari >^..^<

  • Alison Sep 4, 2002 @ 23:04

    But it’s going to make it into a novel someday, isn’t it …

  • Jim W Sep 4, 2002 @ 13:27

    That ranks up there with the time (I wasn’t there) when Jann reported that Jeanna had chocolate pudding between her toes — through her shoes and socks.

    Liked the snippet from today also.

    Take care.

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