The enchanting opening scene I had in my mind did not translate at all to the page — at least not in synopsis form. I let the Onyx proposal sit yesterday instead of zapping it off to my agent, and this morning I’m grateful that I did.
The words are just lying there, grotesque gasping bloated things tossed out on a beach to die.
I can still see what it is that I want to get across in the opening two paragraphs, but, holy shit — I didn’t even come close.
MORAL: Never send a proposal out the second you finish the revision. Something can go badly amiss between brain and fingertips, yet be invisible when the words are still fresh. Give the stinky ones a chance to flop around a bit and die.