The rough edit of Create A Culture Clinic is done

I’d very much like to have two volunteers to give Holly Lisle’s Create A Character Clinic a test run, take it apart, see where instructions are unclear, and find typos and spellos (though I’m doing those, too, but I suck at copyediting). Your test drive should involve actually creating a working culture notebook and a culture to put in it. NOT a complete culture. Just a three-or-four items per section culture. I figure this should take, at most, about five hours of your time (if you don’t let yourself get sucked in). Trying to do the whole book from start to finish would take about a year, I guess.

The book is designed to be read in any order (after you’ve read the instructions in Section One), and permits broad, deep, and mixed development of a culture.

If you would like to volunteer as a Culture Clinic test driver, please post why you’d like to do it here. I’m kind of down, so the funniest two entries (that also demonstrate the sort of spelling and punctuation characteristics that good copyeditors should have) will get PDF copies of the rough version, and will also receive recognition in the acknowledgments, and free final copies in PDF form when the book is done.

I’ll make my selections on Monday, Nov. 6th.

Both thank you, and good luck.

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About the author: Novelist, writing teacher, on a mission to reprint my out-of-print books and self-publish my new ones.

42 comments… add one
  • eitje Nov 7, 2006 @ 8:50

    it’s always a good time to learn.
    http://nickciske.com/tools/binary.php

    on another note… i was watching a trailer for this movie, called Eragon, with some friends the other night. they were all excited about it, “yes, a dragon movie! this one will totally ROCK!”

    but i thought about some of your culture stuff from previous posts, about how thinness happens when you have a good culture against an evil one… when everyone is just feudal england-y… and i cringed. apparently, this guy writing the book is supposed to be some kind of boy genius (from what my friends say) but I honestly can’t see how.

  • hollylisle Nov 7, 2006 @ 8:41

    Don’t actually know the binary alphabet, eitje. Anybody care to translate?

  • eitje Nov 6, 2006 @ 22:53

    01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01110011 01101000 01101111 01110101 01101100 01100100 00100000 01110000 01101001 01100011 01101011 00100000 01101101 01100101 00100000 01100010 01100101 01100011 01100001 01110101 01110011 01100101 00100000 01101001 00100000 01101011 01101110 01101111 01110111 00100000 01100010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001 00101110 00100000 00100000 00111010 00101001 00001101 00001010 00001101 00001010 00101110 00101110 00101110 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01101011 01110101 01101110 01100111 00100000 01100110 01110101 00100001

  • shawna Nov 6, 2006 @ 12:32

    Thank you for making me look a little less crazy- the sanity illusion was wearing a bit thin.

  • hollylisle Nov 6, 2006 @ 9:43

    I apologize to those who, for unknown reasons, got caught in the moderation queue over the weekend. I was offline and missed all the desperate repeats showing up in there. I’ve put in non-duplicate entries from the moderation queue and deleted those that were clearly duplicates. Now that I’m back, I’m closing the entries, with fervent thanks to each of you for humor and editing savvy, and for volunteering to field-test and error-check the book. Anything posted before this notice is in the running. Anything that might be posted afterward is not.

    I’ll be back this afternoon to announce winners/guinea pigs.

    Thank you all again. You’re great.

  • shawna Nov 6, 2006 @ 9:10

    Hmm. It doesn’t seem to like me at the moment, either. There is no Loch Ness Monster! It ceded power to the Great Grumpy Webpage.

  • shawna Nov 6, 2006 @ 9:03

    14 Reasons to Choose Shawna

    14. I’m searching for that holy grail: productive procrastination.

    13. My son hid all my Choose-Your-Own-Adventure books.

    12. I just LIKE proofreading, OK?

    11. I have to get this story written so I can enter the “Strangest Fantasy Map Ever” contest.

    10. If you don’t choose me, I might be forced to procrastinate by folding laundry or calling in available to work.

    9. It might satisfy my red-pen urges enough to keep my coworkers from killing me.

    8. The language clinic is lonely.

    7. David Letterman isn’t volunteering.

    6. My boys lost a total of 7 teeth this month, emptying my mad money stash. (And really creeping me out.)

    5. I always read all the possible endings.

    4. If I’m going to be anal about typos, it might as well be for someone who appreciates it.

    3. The ten-day forecast calls for variations of rain, rain and more rain… and requires webbed feet.

    2. I’ve heard 1,287 grade-school-quality Halloween jokes this week— and I need a humor infusion myself.

    1. I’m holding religious fanatics, flat-earth syndrome, and Jack and the Beanstalk together with scotch tape and my teeth… and could really use some superglue to tie my world together before they take me hostage and sell me to the not-gypsy characters.

  • eitje Nov 5, 2006 @ 20:36

    i think your site is broken. or moderated. either way, boo! πŸ˜›

  • soulsky Nov 5, 2006 @ 20:32

    Pah. Once more into the fray, as folks often put it. It’s not the easiest thing to do, scrambling through dedicated fans for a rare chance to do something worthwhile and fulfilling. However, there can be only two, and I would only feel bad were this the third entry.

    So here I am, representing truth, love, and justice. I always have, always will. My interest is strongly rooted in the selfish implication that I would like to feed my own beginnings of a writing career. I want to live, write, breathe ‘writing.’ I’ve already got a flopped manuscript and tons of scraps to prove it. I’m finally getting off my training wheels, though. Should I be chosen as one of these esteemed test-runners, I will give my utmost to make those PDF pages crinkle with use. Even beyond the ‘test phase,’ I need to make sure I’ve got my bases covered on at least four different groups…

    There’s a lot of chat about NaNoWriMo, which regardless of efficiency, is rarely a bad thing. Writers helping writers, isn’t it what it’s all about? Even this is being done for a little of everyone’s sake.

    And now the real reasons.

    I am Alaskan, born and bred. You simply cannot deny someone who has had to endure winters in Fairbanks.

    I won’t spill any wine on the manuscript, of course.

    I don’t have any silly jokes up my sleeve, either, aside from my general state of being. Look, dear Holly, you’ve made us smile (giggle, laugh, snort, chortle, grin, smirk, groan- the list goes on) on so many occasions including this one. I think, regardless of who gets the privledge of being chosen, we all just want to return the favor. Even beyond these fabled “netz,” through the key and the screen and then pen and the paper, that’s the power of love.

    Even the warm fuzzlies are warm, no?

  • eitje Nov 5, 2006 @ 20:28

    Here’s the other approach I was considered using. Since #1 was wiped from the board, and #2 might only be funny if you’re a real big geek… I present my short story entitled “Reason #3”.

    —–

    I need some help, Holly. For some reason, my post-apocalyptic punk scene just doesn’t have the clash I was expecting it to have. My super-tech space civilization just doesn’t seem close enough to the brink of discovering their destruction & salvation. And when my knights are riding off to battle, there’s barely enough plotting in the court to kill a minor lordling, much less the king himself.

    I need some culture! I don’t want another hero living a drugged-out existence in the near-future cybertech world of Japan! I don’t want another adolescent boy to find a magical door to an adventure filled with amazement and wonder, with an evil wizard to defeat (with the help of his loyal friends he just met a few days ago) if he ever hopes to get home again. And I certainly don’t want to hear any more about how exciting the life of a lawyer, mercenary, hacker, accountant, gardener, or detective can be.

    I think you can help. What do you say?

  • eitje Nov 5, 2006 @ 20:28

    dang, none of my other posts have submitted. πŸ˜›

    It’s REALLY disappointing that my first entry never showed up. Reproductions are rarely as good as the originals, so I’ll not be trying to type it again. Perhaps it was the hand of God, directing me to use my OTHER ideas, rather than the first one. Sometimes, these things happen…

    —–

    My reasons for wanting to help you are not funny at all. I’m only a software engineer right now, but I’ve heard from my friends that there’s a lot more money, fame, and power in becoming an author.

    They point to books like the Da Vinci Code and The Firm as examples of how writers can become utterly and completely rich. They tout Shakespeare and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle as names that english-reading cultures will never forget. And as for the ability to change the face of the world’s society, they just say a single name and leave it at that: Peter.

    Smugly, they say to me “When will reading your source code ever do any of those things?” Then, laughing, they turn back to whatever book the New York Times or Oprah has told them to read this month.

    I’ll show them… I’ll show them all!

    I want everyone to know the amazing cultural components that exist inside every computer under every desk in the world. I want to build a binary culture the likes of which this world has never seen – not evil against good, but zeros working with ones. I want to bring to life a cornucopia of prosopopoeia.

    My readers will quiver in fear at my Python-wielding daemons. My readers will cheer for joy when the superuser finally locates the script that can extract the necessary package from the tar. My readers will be enthralled by the almighty Cron, and his daily tasks of maintaining order and peace within the world.

    And then, my friends will know what an awesome job I have, and they’ll stop laughing at me when I tell them about this great XML parser I wrote the other day. They’ll understand that recursion has an inherent beauty, and that object-oriented design is the closest thing I can have to producing a novel with robust characters, and decent story line, and worthwhile dialog.

    My wealth will be open and free knowledge, my hegemony will be world-wide and under every desk, and my glory will come from unfolding the layers of science that shroud the core of what lives inside of your computer.

    Take that, John Grisham! (Psch, right… an island covered in dinosaurs and people that can’t control them. I think they did that in 1933, with “King Kong”. Next time, read Holly’s Culture Clinic book, and get your own culture!)

    ####################

    Here’s the other approach I was considered using. Since #1 was wiped from the board, and #2 might only be funny if you’re a real big geek… I present my short story entitled “Reason #3”.

    —–

    I need some help, Holly. For some reason, my post-apocalyptic punk scene just doesn’t have the clash I was expecting it to have. My super-tech space civilization just doesn’t seem close enough to the brink of discovering their destruction & salvation. And when my knights are riding off to battle, there’s barely enough plotting in the court to kill a minor lordling, much less the king himself.

    I need some culture! I don’t want another hero living a drugged-out existence in the near-future cybertech world of Japan! I don’t want another adolescent boy to find a magical door to an adventure filled with amazement and wonder, with an evil wizard to defeat (with the help of his loyal friends he just met a few days ago) if he ever hopes to get home again. And I certainly don’t want to hear any more about how exciting the life of a lawyer, mercenary, hacker, accountant, gardener, or detective can be.

    I think you can help. What do you say?

  • eitje Nov 5, 2006 @ 20:27

    πŸ˜›

  • ErinH Nov 5, 2006 @ 17:05

    So an elf, a troll, and a human walk into a bar, and the halfling looks back at them and says, “I told you that you were all too tall for this ride.”

  • eitje Nov 5, 2006 @ 12:45

    It’s REALLY disappointing that my first entry never showed up. Reproductions are rarely as good as the originals, so I’ll not be trying to type it again. Perhaps it was the hand of God, directing me to use my OTHER ideas, rather than the first one. Sometimes, these things happen…

    —–

    My reasons for wanting to help you are not funny at all. I’m only a software engineer right now, but I’ve heard from my friends that there’s a lot more money, fame, and power in becoming an author.

    They point to books like the Da Vinci Code and The Firm as examples of how writers can become utterly and completely rich. They tout Shakespeare and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle as names that english-reading cultures will never forget. And as for the ability to change the face of the world’s society, they just say a single name and leave it at that: Peter.

    Smugly, they say to me “When will reading your source code ever do any of those things?” Then, laughing, they turn back to whatever book the New York Times or Oprah has told them to read this month.

    I’ll show them… I’ll show them all!

    I want everyone to know the amazing cultural components that exist inside every computer under every desk in the world. I want to build a binary culture the likes of which this world has never seen – not evil against good, but zeros working with ones. I want to bring to life a cornucopia of prosopopoeia.

    My readers will quiver in fear at my Python-wielding daemons. My readers will cheer for joy when the superuser finally locates the script that can extract the necessary package from the tar. My readers will be enthralled by the almighty Cron, and his daily tasks of maintaining order and peace within the world.

    And then, my friends will know what an awesome job I have, and they’ll stop laughing at me when I tell them about this great XML parser I wrote the other day. They’ll understand that recursion has an inherent beauty, and that object-oriented design is the closest thing I can have to producing a novel with robust characters, and decent story line, and worthwhile dialog.

    My wealth will be open and free knowledge, my hegemony will be world-wide and under every desk, and my glory will come from unfolding the layers of science that shroud the core of what lives inside of your computer.

    Take that, John Grisham! (Psch, right… an island covered in dinosaurs and people that can’t control them. I think they did that in 1933, with “King Kong”. Next time, read Holly’s Culture Clinic book, and get your own culture!)

    ####################

    Here’s the other approach I was considered using. Since #1 was wiped from the board, and #2 might only be funny if you’re a real big geek… I present my short story entitled “Reason #3”.

    —–

    I need some help, Holly. For some reason, my post-apocalyptic punk scene just doesn’t have the clash I was expecting it to have. My super-tech space civilization just doesn’t seem close enough to the brink of discovering their destruction & salvation. And when my knights are riding off to battle, there’s barely enough plotting in the court to kill a minor lordling, much less the king himself.

    I need some culture! I don’t want another hero living a drugged-out existence in the near-future cybertech world of Japan! I don’t want another adolescent boy to find a magical door to an adventure filled with amazement and wonder, with an evil wizard to defeat (with the help of his loyal friends he just met a few days ago) if he ever hopes to get home again. And I certainly don’t want to hear any more about how exciting the life of a lawyer, mercenary, hacker, accountant, gardener, or detective can be.

    I think you can help. What do you say?

  • writewize Nov 5, 2006 @ 10:49

    Holly,
    Your comment box has locked me out. I have the coolest and funniest entry so you’ll pick me …..but the evil comment smasher won’t let me in. This is my last attempt.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~You You should see my helmet! Well I do need one for all test drives unless you want blood and guts all over the CC! Ick.
    Vroom Vroom.
    Oh dear, I think my grandson is wearing off on me. (hic)
    *covers mouth* I’d never test drive under the influence. (hic)
    Shhhh. Don’t tell.
    I’m not loaded on anything, just excitement. So many of the other test drive candidates are doing that silly Nano thing and seem inordinately busy.
    Atually, I love Nanowrimo, I just decided not to participate this year.
    Not this feisty driver. Nope. She has all the time in the world. (HA)
    Between her own stories, a nineteen month old grandson crawling up into her lap to see if she has “dumb dumb” on her screen (you’ll have to see my blog entries to understand that one) and other daily activities.
    When you wantcultures created, worlds at your feet you need only call on one special test driver.
    My helmet and fire proof uniform are ready to go and await your call. I have fire hoses to put out any potential blazes.
    Tools await. My nimble fingers poised at the keyboards.
    Call 1 800 CC-Test Dummy
    May good health greet you for the next several months.

    Test Dummy

  • valerie Nov 5, 2006 @ 0:04

    There once was an author named Holly
    Who pleaded to be made more jolly–
    It wasn’t a hoax;
    She WANTED these jokes.
    (What folly makes Holly less bawl-y?)

    She needed some cultural edits
    and asked for critters with credits.
    A writer called Val
    Said, “I’ll be her pal!
    My wits can pick nits into tidbits.”

    Ahem.

    Guess that says it all! And yes, for the *Culture* clinic, not character. I mean, I have kitten fairies that need a culture that has more going for it than the fact that three is a magic number.

  • lauren_raven Nov 4, 2006 @ 17:53

    Urk, I’m sorry you’re feeling down. I know how that goes. So I’ll do my best to cheer you up. I’m a dorky English major, so my favorite joke (which I got off a Laffy Taffy wrapper, by the way) is this:

    Why do beachcombers never go hungry?
    Because of all the sand which is there.

    My boyfriend thought I was insane because I couldn’t stop laughing at this.

    I had a dream the other night where I was running away from a theatre in the middle of nowhere in a stolen car, while being chased by a Hispanic guy on a burro. And my dream made very clear that this was a burro, not a donkey. I swear the dream-narration-stream-of-consciousness said something like this: “and he hopped on his BUR-RO and chased after us…” Apparently my subconscious is racially stereotypical.

    Other than that, I think the funniest thing that happened to me lately was at swing dance lessons last night. My parents, some family friends of ours, my sister, and my boyfriend and I were all taking lessons together, and this was our first class. My boyfriend and I are both terrible dancers, so we kept accidentally mauling each other–he’d step on my feet (I was wearing open-toed shoes, the idiocy of which had not occurred to me, brilliant thinker that I am), or spin me and not let go of my wrist, etc. One time I tried to turn, or he tried to turn me, or something, and somehow I ended up falling over and stabbing his collarbone with my teeth. It was a fun but painful evening.

    So yes. Insert token clever ‘Pick me, pick me!’ statement here. I love brainstorming and creating cultures, I work quickly, my father is a magazine editor so I was practically proofreading in the womb (and that is not a name drop, it’s a trade magazine I doubt you’ve ever heard of)…yeah.

    Hope you’re feeling better after reading all of these entries. Best of luck with the writing!

  • HeatherCW Nov 4, 2006 @ 16:31

    The Top Five Reasons to Pick Me

    5. The last time I had a solid culture in my writing was when I accidentally left a container of yogurt between the pages of my manuscript for three weeks.
    4. I have, and adore, your Create a Character Clinic, and my poor (but well-developed) characters are roaming sadly through a culture-free wasteland (save the previously mentioned yogurt) and they hound me in my dreams to give them some culture, or even a hint of one.
    3. I am not doing NaNoWriMo because I am up to my eyelashes in editing my NaNo of two years ago. It needs a bit of a break, and I need a huge break, and working through your Clinic would be wonderful.
    2. My sister’s name is Holly. She’s six feet tall, a semi-professional boxer, a marathon runner, and afraid of fingernails. Yes, really. No, I don’t know how such a thing would happen. She can punch my lights out (and has probably considered it on a number of occasions) but the sight of a broken fingernail makes her sweaty and dizzy. When I read your name, I think of her, and it makes me smile.
    1. To demonstrate my attention to detail, I am the first to notice (or at least to comment) that your original post says you need “two volunteers to give Holly LisleÒ€ℒs Create A Character Clinic a test run” instead of “Culture Clinic”.

    I’d do a thorough job, I’m a great speller/editor, and I hope you feel better soon!

    Heather

  • PolarBear Nov 4, 2006 @ 13:53

    Paul, it’s cold down below, so the “sub” needed a “mit” to stay warm. It’s elementary, really. πŸ˜‰

  • Paul Nov 4, 2006 @ 13:07

    “Hmm,” Paul said to himself, scratching his chin. “Look at all those people already entered. How’m I gonna make myself funnier than them? They’ve got good senses of humor. I wonder…”

    He sat down at his keyboard and tried something plain and simple: “Hi Holly. I’d like to betatest the Culture Clinic, because I think it’d be fun and because I have a seedling of an idea for two cultures which really need to be fleshed out.”

    But wait! he realized, She said be funny!

    So he tacked on to that paragraph a bit of self-effacing humor: “And I think it’d help me to be more productive, because I work as quickly as a crippled snail.” Really he worked as fast as a retarded turtle going uphill through molasses in January; on crutches, dragging weights.

    Well, he figured, nothing left to do but hit the “submit” button and see what it comes to. Funny word, he thought “submit”. Did the “sub” come from Latin “sub”, meaning “below”? And if so, where the hell did “mit” come from?

    Anyhow he spent about five minutes contemplating that deep, deep question before sighing and hitting the button and leaving the rest up to Holly.

  • eitje Nov 4, 2006 @ 11:48

    I should be selected for this privledge because i’m not a writer by nature – when I say “NaNoWriMo” outloud, it just makes me think of “Oreos”. That could be because I just woke up, and I’m hungry.

    However, I have ATTEMPTED writing after reading some of your books. I’ve started putting together some precision short stories – it’s not so easy to write a culture AND a story into exactly 250 words, but it’s certainly a challenge. Usually, I just end up leaving one or the other out, to save time. My editor (me) & publisher (me) don’t seem to mind.

    Also, I write financial software all day long. It’s incredibly exciting to a geek, but I’d like to take some of the dry, 50-page technicial specification documentation I look at every day and turn it into a cornucopia of prosopopoeia so that my friends could understand what I do. I’m thrilled about the implications of applying cultural concepts to the aging, yet kaleidescopic, environment in which I work.

    What will the systems be? Vikings? A race of dog-men? Canadian? I won’t know until I try your book!

    Finally, on a more serious note, I’m interested in this book for a side project I’m working on, which is a role-playing game for mobile devices (PDAs, fancy phones, etc). Due to the limited nature of the hardware, it will not be a graphically intensive game (I’m getting around Super Nintendo graphical quality right now with 2-D sprites). As such, it will require an excellent storyline, and everyone knows a proper culture is the solid foundation of an excellent storyline.

    Right now, I’m thinking it will be about a boy working on an isolated farm that finds out he’s an alien with special abilities. He’ll end up moving to the big city (“Burg City” possibly) to fight crime secretly, working in a janitorial position at City Hall so that he has to scoop (so to speak) on crimes going on around the city. I think it’s a winner. πŸ™‚

    And I think I’M a winner!

  • writewize Nov 4, 2006 @ 11:03

    Holly,
    You should see my helmet! Well I do need one for all test drives unless you want blood and guts all over the CC! Ick. Vroom Vroom.
    Oh dear, I think my grandson is wearing off on me. (hic) *covers mouth* I’d never test drive under the influence. (hic) Shhhh. Don’t tell. I’m not loaded on anything, just excitement. So many of the other test drive candidates are doing that silly Nano thing and seem inordinately busy. Atually, I love Nanowrimo, I just decided not to participate this year.
    Not this feisty driver. Nope. She has all the time in the world. (HA) Between her own stories, a nineteen month old grandson crawling up into her lap to see if she has “dumb dumb” on her screen (you’ll have to see my blog entries to understand that one) and other daily activities. When you want cultures created, worlds at your feet you need only call on one special test driver. My helmet and fire proof uniform are ready to go and await your call. I have fire hoses to put out any potential blazes. Tools await. My nimble fingers poised at the keyboards.
    Call 1 800 CC-Test Dummy
    Writewize

    –yesterday I was still to sick to THINK.
    I hope this makes you laugh.
    (I also hope you are well on your way to feeling better.)
    kay

  • Jaye Patrick Nov 4, 2006 @ 7:22

    Nope, sorry, I’m one of those nut jobs doing Nano.

    Professionally speaking, I’m not one for procrastinating while doing it either, I take writing seriously, even when I’m writing comedy. GET BACK TO WORK, YOU LAYABOUTS!

    I’ll have two books by the end of November, and a short story done as well. Of course, I blame you. You encouraged me, damn it; you started Forward Motion and stuck by all of us, you taught us, helped us, urged us on beyond what we thought we could do, you were the one who said never to give up the dream, and I haven’t. And now, you’d like some assistance?

    Does my being a former government and newspaper editor help? Because I would surely toss Nano aside to make sure your book is the best you want it to be. Forward Motion doesn’t mean I can’t take a step back and help those who’ve helped me.

    Ick! That all really sounds sucky! And not funny at all – except to get those procrastinators back to work – I’m sure one of them will be a best seller eventually, but which one?

    I’ll make the time, Holly, count on it.

  • TJ Nov 4, 2006 @ 0:44

    Hmmm…funny, eh? Let’s see. I’m mildly insane after 3 weeks of my little daughter trying to get her two front teeth. Does that count for anything?

    I would love to do that could improve this novel I keep trying to write. I’ve got all the great plot ideas lined out, but a culture would be nice. Especially for that one community that lives on the island.

    Crap. I don’t do funny on demand. I do funny when other people say something and I get all witty.

    Begging? Please pick me.

  • writewize Nov 4, 2006 @ 0:32

    I posted in the wrong place Holly. See my reasons why you should pick me under Sympathy for the Devil.

  • shay Nov 3, 2006 @ 23:38

    i’d love to read CCC because whenever I create cultures they all resemble the british public in various ways and end up full of Tony Blairs for some reason – something that’s never good for a fantasy novel, or newspaper, or life in general.
    so I need help in how to create a universe without Tony Blair/George Bush/any political leader relating to the two in it and believe that this guide could help πŸ™‚

  • LadyQ Nov 3, 2006 @ 21:59

    Don’t pick me!

    Seriously. I’d *love* to volunteer for this, but I have two kids under two (can’t say that after November 17, so I’m getting as much mileage out of it as I can now :D) and a manuscript that is really close to being shopped around to agents. Add to that a husband who needs some attention now and again, baby sleeping issues and a house inexorably sliding into chaos and ruin, and I have no time. πŸ™

    Bummer. πŸ™

    Maybe in ten years when you’ve written “Create a Non-Human Race Clinic” and the kids are too cool to want to hang out with Mom much. πŸ˜€

    I hope you’re feeling better soon! *sends happy thoughts*

  • Rowan Nov 3, 2006 @ 21:44

    Hi Holly,
    I would love to help with the Culture Clinic. I hope you pick me, because in Canada we need more culture. That and our long, dark winters allow for little else, as we huddle in our igloos. (Kidding! Before fellow canucks beat me senseless with back bacon and beer bottles. Mmmmmm…beer)
    In all seriousness, my WIP could use a dose of culture, as I’ve focused more on story and plot, but I want to revisit some of the culture elements to spice things up. Besides, I make a great lab rat. I’ll have to build a wheel, though, which is great procrastination from actually writing, plus I get to go to Home Depot. Mmmmmm…tools, lumber. Remember, it’s not what you’re actually going to do with a new tool, it’s about what you COULD to with that tool. (that’s somewhere in the man’s list of rules. Yeah, somewhere.)

  • PolarBear Nov 3, 2006 @ 21:06

    No way. As much as I might want to do this, I’m NOT asking for one more damn thing to do this month. That little extra temporary job I picked up a couple weeks ago? It’s expanding like unchecked yeast. The shit just never stops. The “R” word is so very tempting. Looking forward to seeing this when it’s all done.

    Funny? Nuthin’s funny these days. Who authorized funny anyhow? Y’all get back on your heads.

  • The English Rose Nov 3, 2006 @ 20:56

    There are so many good responses already! This will be hard for you, Holly, I’m sure. But that’s not stopping me from throwing my hat into the ring.

    I’m not doing Nanowrimo this year because I am “too busy.” Namely, I’ve started working on my second “real” novel, which is precisely why you ought to pick me. It’s floating around in my head right now, and the CCC would be just the thing to start giving it form. Also, I’m in-training to work in the writing center and need to get my hands on everything I can possibly copy-edit. Grammarians of the world, unite! (I think I hear a rallying cry… hm. Perhaps it’s my cereal.)

  • theforcewithin Nov 3, 2006 @ 20:20

    It worked!!! FIREWORKS!!! Not without a typo though, for which I’m sorry.

    It worked. This means there’s sth wrong with my ‘Rogue’ user. Oh well…

  • theforcewithin Nov 3, 2006 @ 20:15

    Didn’t work yesterday (the comment just refused to show up on screen). Still, I’m going to be persistant about what I want to say.

    A challange this would be. No doubt about that. Am I up to the task? I sure hope so. Would I like to give it a try??? I’d LOVE to!

    By the way… Do you know if your books get published in Poland (where I live). Looked around the net and found none πŸ™ It’s not that I need them translated to read or anything. I just thought that Poland could make a decent additional market – about 40 million people. A job for your agent maybe…
    Should you need someone to translate your work into Polish… πŸ™‚ Though my timetable is rather tight at the moment (joggling to jobs, giving private English classes and trying to finish my first novel) I just might find some time to work on your books too. Hell, one should not be so selfish and find the heart to help those in need, right?

    πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

    Funny??? Hope your cheeks went just a little bit up while reading this.

    Seriously though, I thoght that you might want a different approach towards your work. And since I’m NOT a native soeaker of English, mine could prove different. Maybe I should not be picked as one of the two lucky guys… girls… ehm… people, but perhaps a third.

    So. The question is: If I’m crazy enough to be writing this now; are you crazy enough to let me do it (the test drive that is).

    Hope you feel better already.

    About posting comments: If this doesn’t work, I give up. The new user is the last hope, since nothing helped.

  • sundart Nov 3, 2006 @ 18:20

    Avast there, ye scurvy dogs! Clearly Mistress Holly should be cheered up by this bit of news: I much doubt that anyone else can claim to have put a copy of Talyn on their Amazon.com bridal registry for a pirate-themed wedding to be takin’ place on Sunday the 12th of November. If one of me mates doesn’t buy that book, I’ll personally keel-haul the lot of ’em!

    I’d gladly volunteer to test yer Clinic, but the wedding preparations and the tendinitis in me wrists mean that I haven’t got the extra keyboard-hours to spend on anything but me own novel fer the forseeable. Arr, lass, sorry. I have vessels to organize and lists to draw up. And there are fat galleons out there just waitin’ fer the Lady Admirals to plunder!

    But hopefully, this has made you smile.

  • onesikmonkee Nov 3, 2006 @ 6:55

    Because I’m NOT suffering through NaNoWriMo, which sounds like some kind of Eskimo mating ritual to me.

    Because I’m your number one fan. Oh, wait…That’s Kathy Bates.

    Because I’m fast, efficient, and darn it, people like me!

    Because I have so little sense of humor left after editing my last manuscript that I could use a little pick-me-up, and the meds just aren’t having the same effect any more.

    Because because because because be-CAAAAAUUUUUSE! Because of the wonderful things he does! (that’s from the Wizard of Oz, in case my virtual singing didn’t get that point across)

    Because I lived through West Nile and all I got was this stupid T-shirt.

    Because now I’ve shown myself to be the biggest geek that ever lived, and everyone knows that you should show, not tell.

  • beckyb Nov 3, 2006 @ 6:46

    Because, I already whipped out Create a Langauge Clinic and stunned everyone with my complete and utter geekness (I was carrying around notes for three langauges as well, at the time) and now it’s worn off and I need something new to get them with.

    Plus, I loved Talyn. I love the deep cultures in everything I’ve read of yours–but I love Talyn, and I really, really want to see what kind of a process led to the Tonk.

    ~Becky

  • KDRyder Nov 3, 2006 @ 5:42

    Jeez, is EVERYONE doing NANOWRIMO? I guess you can put me in that pot of wishful thinkers, too. You gotta give a hand to Chris Baty for starting an international phenomenon by just setting a deadline and a word count. Now, THERE’S a funny thing for you…a deadline! (By the way, do we say that “Batty” or “Bait-ty?”–put that in the things-I-stay-up-late-worrying-about file). But I’m with y’all on the procrastination efforts. My latest masterpiece of a delaying tactic involved building an exact scale model of St. Peter’s Basilica with only a can of chocolate frosting and some graham crackers. Actually, I ended up just sitting in front of the TV eating frosting from the can with an ice cream scoop while watching the History Channel, but the thought was there. Now that I think about it, I guess that did have some tie in to world building.

    As for jokes, the best one I have heard lately was from my 8 year old: Why does a whale live in salt water?
    (wait for it…wait for it)

    Because pepper water makes him sneeze…
    Bah dump, chaa!

    Anyway. I would love to get a pre-look at the world building MS. The Character Clinic did wonders for my stories and my confidence. The fact is, I have been lurking around the site off and on since September to see when the world building clinic would be ready. So put me in, Coach, I’ll do my best.

    Ciao…
    KD

  • Cuyler Nov 3, 2006 @ 0:35

    Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side, Duh! Old! Old! Old! This is such on old joke, it not funny at all, but it is unique to American Culture- well at least I know it is in Canada. Hosers are unique to Canada, the maple leaf, lots and lots of beer. All these things are unique to Canada, part of the culture I grew up in, with a mix of some American culture as my dad and his side of the family are American. I want to learn how to make my own unique culture, something that will shape my characters, and inspire my readers.

    Doubt I was funny, but it’s late, and I still have my NaNo Word count to do. A little worried I am. Well, hope you pick me.

  • PJ Nov 2, 2006 @ 23:12

    “Holly, you should pick me because IÒ€ℒm doing NaNoWriMo and IÒ€ℒm fast running out of ideas on how to procrastinate.”

    See? See how bad it is? I’ve been procrastinating writing up a beginning to my own entry – so I borrowed from Milady Insanity!

    I would love a chance to run through this because you can’t really tear down a culture until you’ve built one yourself. (rimshot)

    Okay – maybe it wasn’t funny – but we built this city on rock-n-roll, not funny! πŸ™‚

    Thank you! Tip your waitresses!

    I need more sleep, ~PJ~

  • Nandini Nov 2, 2006 @ 19:00

    I just realised my entry above wasn’t funny at all. Damn. Well, if you pick me, I’ll send you a whole bunch of jokes I just got forwarded…

  • Nandini Nov 2, 2006 @ 18:58

    Hey Holly,

    I’m writing fantasy for the first time for NaNoWriMo!! This would be the perfect time, since NaNo this year is going to be a leisurely affair for me – I am unemployed and I’m not in school either. I have really good intentions, and want to take the time to write a good novel. Your book would be an immense help. I promise to write a detailed review, too.

    Take care of yourself, though, and get well soon!

  • miladyinsanity Nov 2, 2006 @ 15:40

    Holly, you should pick me because I’m doing NaNoWriMo and I’m fast running out of ideas on how to procrastinate.

    There is only so much studying and homework one can do (I’m a student). Worse, my internet connection is interfering with my preferred form of procrastination. Every now and then, it decides I should be writing and the connection speed slows so much, it’s just not worth the frustration to try and bloghop through it.

    I’m close to the point where I start rearranging my bookshelf, except that it’s been so long since I last did it, plucking out the wrong book could lead to the whole thing collapsing on top of me.

    You wouldn’t want that to happen, would you now, Holly?

    I hope you feel better soon

  • wisemoon Nov 2, 2006 @ 14:53

    Uh, is this thing on? *tap* *tap* *screeeeeeeee* Ow, feedback. Sorry about that.

    Okay so, um, I think I should get to test drive the Culture Clinic because I’m in the middle of NaNoWriMo and although my main character’s culture has some interesting aspects, there are some really fuzzy areas and I’d really like to clear those up. Developing my main character’s culture would not only help me understand my main character better, but would greatly assist me in developing one of the primary conflicts in my novel, which has to do with the clash of two cultures and their values.

    So, in order to develop that conflict, I need to understand both the main character’s culture and the antagonist’s culture in pretty good detail.

    Plus, I’m really nice. And I can sing really well. And I’m a pretty rockin’ cook. And I can quilt. And I’d be willing to make you cookies or a quilt or clean your house or rub your feet or…oh yeah. I also work as a technical writer and have first-hand experience with writing and editing documents because I do it every day.

    Please let me test drive your Culture Clinic. My three starving children will thank you. My two starving cats will thank you. My boyfriend-the-fellow-writer will thank you. You’ll have the undying gratitude of my main character (who’s getting a little annoyed that I don’t know what to do with him) and I will put you in my acknowledgements, too! How about that?

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