The Muppet Employment Line

By Holly Lisle

Time for weighty matters. We were discussing this over breakfast this morning, and just barely scratched the surface. Which Muppets would you hire, if you were hiring? We like Kermit for management — stable, rational, has a bit of work experience under his belt already (that news thing he does). Miss Piggy looks like a lawsuit in the making, either suing (bogus sexual harassment) or being sued (genuine assault and battery); Bert seems okay for an employee — but not management. We wouldn’t touch Ernie with a ten-foot monster — way too flaky and he’d always be pulling practical jokes and causing workplace injuries. Cookie Monster seems okay in most non-food, non-customer-relations work. He thinks Big Bird would be okay, I have the Yellow Nightmare pegged as a closet serial killer.

You say?

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