I do email first thing, and then last thing.
And this morning, my first goddamn email was a notice from the Berkeley Humane Society telling me that August is National Make-A-Will Month, and offering me their Personal Estate Planning Kit so I could leave them all my money when I die.
Shitbags. 
This is pure spam — nothing I requested, nothing I signed up for. And Berkeley is hell and gone from Ohio, which is where my interests lie. (Well, Ohio, Georgia, and North Carolina, because I have kids.)
Whatever happened to “Think Globally, Act Locally?”
I guess if your job is “Professional Beggar,” you get to pretend everybody is your neighbor. Eh, Jeffrey?
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