The comments, both positive and negative, were tremendously helpful.
The raw test for COVER 3 won votes by a massive amount, but as I noted, that was NOT a finished cover. It was a rough draft.
My overall changes have addressed the following issues:
- No text over Suzee’s eyes.
- Brighter skin tone—she can’t be mistaken for a vampire anymore.
- Changed art style so she no longer has hard black sketch lines on her face
- Bigger title with emphasis on SELLING and SUZEE DELIGHT
- Science fiction background
- All critical text is readable at the size of 66×100 pixels.
MANY comments on the impressions people got from looking at the picture of Suzee, though, picked up exactly what I hoped to convey with that image, so I knew that, at least, had to stay.
Here’s the story sentence for THE SELLING OF SUZEE DELIGHT:
The most famous courtesan in Settled Space murders five senior administrators of the Pact Worlds during a private summit held in her palace, and the results of her confession and the bidding war to win the rights to her execution entangle the Longview and its crew, and threaten the power balance of human space.
So glad the comments were helpful, and I like your Sentence a lot. I’m curious, though–it’s 54 words. Aren’t we supposed to be striving for 30 or less?
I can’t wait for the Selling to come out. It’s one thing that I’ll actually buy for my Kindle and will actually read before 6 months go by. You’re one of my all time favorite authors (as well as an awesome instructor.)
Thank you so much. 😀
By the way, I passed 20,000 words yesterday, but the story still isn’t finished. I’m really close, though.
Sounds interesting. Looking forward to reading it. Need help with the website, any suggestions?
I’ll be doing some site crits for UGLY WORKSHOP members, and UGLY BABY members will get to see them.
Once I get my OWN mess (that would be this site) taken care of. 😀
or, maybe…
“Five senior administrators are murdered in the palace of the most famous courtesan in Settled Space, and once she confesses, the bidding war to win the rights to her execution entangle the Longview and its crew, and threaten the power balance of human space.”
It’s shorter, but your version moves the core action into passive voice. The story opens with her confession to their murders, and covers the ruckus her pending execution creates——and WHY.
How about,
“When the most famous courtesan in Settled Space confesses to the murder of five senior administrators, the bidding war to [… continues same as before]”
I am assuming that the core action is the one that would hook me as a reader — not the murders, but her confession. If doubt as to whether she did the murders is not the point, you would have started with “…murders five senior administrators,” yes?
The location of the murders may be relevant to the story, but the confession is the hook. I think. I’m new at this.
Dammit. I should have realized I’d missed something (the very first snippet). Haven’t been around much lately. So, oops.
Still, if you wanted to shorten it, you’d look to what information is needed and what is not. You could probably drop the location to save a few words, if a few words would matter.
War is singular, so “entangles” and “threatens.”
I feel so used Holly. Thank you, it feels good. This is a super lesson in cover art importance, value of other peoples incites, and the work involved to achieve your best results. Congratulations on sharing this creative process with your readers. You are so very cleaver. I wish you and Suzee lots of success.
LOL on feeling used. Thanks for helping out.
Sweet! Sounds great! I had intended on using a similar voting template for my own novel. I liked the “other” category. I hadn’t thought of that.
If you use OTHER, make SURE comments to it will work. Mine didn’t, and the votes for OTHER didn’t show up, either.
Plugin I used…YOP Poll.
I also can’t wait to read this!!!
It sounds like a very powerful story!
Love the sentence, Holly. That alone would bring the dead back to life, just to read the story to get the details of this adventure.
I like the changes you’ve chosen. Bated breath describes my feelings about Suzee’s story.
Thank you. I’m really excited about how the first draft is coming together.
Ok – if she’s a courtesan, then “romance” type cover fits – glad you will be adding the SF background. Sounds interesting.
The romance AND the erotica. Even though it is not her chosen profession.
No erotica (I don’t write it), and only the smallest romance, fits into THIS episode.
And Suzee didn’t get to choose her profession, which is part of the core plot.
Holy Toledo! Can’t wait to read this, Holly!