Testing Audio… And The Lady And The Dragon

By Holly Lisle

I was going through the update of Garageband to try out the set-up for some of the course stuff I want to create.

And … um. I got to playing with the voices. And then I got this wild hair to actually sing something.

And the song I decided to sing is something I wrote when I was about 26. The Lady And The Dragon, which was published as being sung by the beer-swilling, lecherous dragon Birkwelch in my novel Minerva Wakes.

And it didn’t entirely suck, so I thought you might get a laugh out of it.

The Lady And The Dragon
© 1997 by Holly Lisle
Published in Minerva Wakes, by Holly Lisle

The lovely lady sang so sweet,
Upon her harp she plucked.
The dragon’s lust grew great and strong,
His heart thundered and bucked.
When she was through, he took her home,
And all night long they ….

Were anatomically incompatible,
His was flyable,
Hers just sat-able.
True love died,
‘Cause nothing fit.
That’s the long and short…
Of it.

They tried their best to make it work,
With effort pure and true.
They used appliances and gels,
And lathered up with goo.
‘Twas all for not, though, sad to tell…
They simply couldn’t ….


The dragon ceased his striving but,
Alas, it was too late.
They buried her while he bemoaned
The fickleness of fate.
Dead not for love but just because
They could not for–….


The moral of this sad lament…
Avoid the clench of fate.
Make sure the plumbing measures up,
Before you copulate.


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