Passing On an Important Reminder

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11 responses to “Passing On an Important Reminder”

1. 

   Jim

   March 23, 2006

   Holly,

   My point in posting from Snopes is that Snopes doesnt “thoroughly debunk” the advice. They do make some good points, and some inane points (as yoiu pointed out), but generally say “this advice is good but insufficient.”

   Which is again to come back to their comment on the first point — self defense training is better than no self defense training. To which I will add, untrained good common sense is better than panicking.

   Reply
2. 

   arrvee

   March 23, 2006

   Not only CAN you do something about, you SHOULD. Women are the preferential victims of predators because of those unfortunate societal preconceptions. That won’t change until the victims become at least as dangerous as those trying to victimize them, and I’m totally in favor of that.

   Reply
3. 

   carlie

   March 22, 2006

   Just one thing…

   Women have to accept the fact that they are victimized so often because our society expects them to be weak and afraid. arrvee said.

   I think that we DON’T have to accept that. We can do something about it.

   Reply
4. 

   arrvee

   March 22, 2006

   Just a few things:

   1.) While walking through any area that might be dangerous, clench yyour fist with keys sticking our between your fingers. You can practically tear somebody’s face off with a good swing or punch out an eye.

   2.) The nose is the most vulnerable spot on the human body. A good, hard punch in the schnozz will give you at least a couple of steps head start or a chance to take out a knee.

   3.) Scream. Muggers, etc. depend on their victims being compliant. Don’t be.

   4.) Regardless of whether the crying baby is an urban legend or not, ANY unusual noise outside your house or apartment is cause for alarm, especially at night. Call the police, that’s what they’re for.

   5.) DO NOT BE A WIMP! In a situation like Holly is talking about, your LIFE is on the line. Every time. You cannot be soft. If you have to fight, throw every blow with your full strength and the intent to maim or kill.

   Women have to accept the fact that they are victimized so often because our society expects them to be weak and afraid. Fear is OK if it’s channeled into action. Weak is not OK. Attackers do not expect women to fight. In fact, they count on their victims being fearful and compliant. When women become as ruthless as their attackers, the problem will diminish to almost nothing.

   Reply
5. 

   Holly

   March 22, 2006

   Bluntly, while I mostly appreciate the Snopes site, sometimes their debunking info is stupider than what they’re debunking.

   1) Having been grabbed from behind, I can state categorically that my knees, strong though they may be, were useless. The back of my head, my elbows, and my heels, however, were great.

   You can smash the cartilege in an attacker’s nose, rip his lips to pieces, and knock out his teeth with the back of your head. You can crush the bones in his feet with a well-placed stomp, especially if you’re wearing heels. (The weight of even a small woman, concentrated into the surface area of the heel of a high-heeled shoe and pistoned downward by a furious kick, exerts a couple thousand pounds of downward pressure — enough to do real damage.) You can knock the wind out of him or ever break a rib with an elbow, and if you can turn a bit, you can then crush his windpipe with that same elbow.

   (You can also sometimes bite hands or fingers or wrists — human teeth can rip skin, tear and separate ligaments, and break small bones, like those in fingers.)

   While running away is the best ploy, sometimes it isn’t an option. If it isn’t your option, you’d better have a better plan in mind than “whimper and beg for mercy.”

   Beyond that, kicking a kneecap is often better than the groin — one good kick straight in can crush the patella (the kneecap), while one that’s a bit to either side of true can tear apart the medial collateral or anterior collateral ligaments, seriously crippling your attacker and improving your chances of running away to safety. Not some wimp-ass kick, though. You have to intend to put your foot straight through bone to the other side.

   If he grabs you, attempt with every blow to kill him.

   2) As for the “tossing purse” trick; how precisely does Snopes suggest you determine whether your assailant wants your money or your life? Really, are you supposed to sit him down and interview him? If you ask him “Are you going to rob me, or are you going to rape and kill me?” are we thinking he’ll give you an honest answer? Furthermore, exactly how useful will your purse be as a weapon? That ridiculous spangled sequin-y knit bag most women carry is a freakin’ joke. Toss the bag, shriek, “Oh, my Platinum account!” or, “What a day to take ten thousand dollars out of the bank!” and run like hell in the opposite direction.

   (This advice is recanted if you carry Goth leather with pointy metal spikes on the outside and a pound or more of pennies on the inside.)

   3) You never know what sort of car your attacker will be driving if he dumps you into a trunk. While I knew about the latch in newer cars, and about kicking out the back seat, I never realized that even in old cars there might be a way to summon help. Checking for a taillight to kick out gave me another option I didn’t know existed, and I hope it did for the other readers of the post.

   4) Lingering in parking lots. Don’t.

   5) Be paranoid about people sitting in the car next to yours, whatever Snopes might say.

   6) Stairwells, BAD.

   7) I’ve heard from cops I know that your odds of getting shot while running away from the average handgun carrier are pretty low. I don’t know that the odds are 4%, but I’ve been told it’s low. Since Snopes then suggested, as an alternative to running away in a zig-zag pattern, first throwing that fine weapon, your purse (the one you shouldn’t throw away, remember), and then running away in … you’ve got it … a zig-zag pattern, I have to say that at this point ol’ Snopes started to actively piss me off.

   8) The Bundy thing. He did it. If he didn’t do it EVERY. SINGLE. TIME … so fucking what? Seriously. He did it, a lot of women died horribly because he did it, and how does the fact that other serial killers use other methods negate watching out for that one?

   9) Crying baby outside. Hoax? Maybe. So what? If I heard one and I was single and living alone, I’d call the cops, whether anyone has ever tried this before or not. Going out to investigate strange noises is a lot dumber than calling the cops to come investigate for you.

   Reply
6. 

   Jim

   March 21, 2006

   Well, as the “perp” who sent this to you, I thought I should go to the Snopes site to check. The link is
   http://www.snopes.com/crime/prevent/ninetips.asp
   and this is a summary assessment of the tips:

   1. Taking any action without formal self defense training is risky; that said, while the elbow is effective, stricly speaking the knee is stronger.

   2. “Throwing the money away” would probably be an effective ploy for muggers/burglars (and I’ve seen it suggested in other self-defense videos), but not for kidnappers and other predators. You need to know what your assailant intends before you finalize you decision.

   3. The “Trunk” solution is probably not effectiive in most modern cars, and you should consider alternatives based on modern designs. Probably the most thoroughly debunked of the 9 tips.

   4. Snopes concurs: Don’t linger in parking lots.

   5. Snopes generally concurs that it is a good idea to be careful of people nearby when getting into an automobile but disagrees with reasoning and adds further precuations.

   6. Snopes concurs: Avoid stairwells becuase of ther isolation/privacy.

   7. Snopes disagrees, largely because they don’t believe the 4% chance of being hit by your assailant’s bullet under these circumstances is realistic. Advice offered to improve your chances if you are shot at.

   8. Snopes concurs that Ted Bundy worked by playing on sympathy, but noteds that he didn’t use this play all of the time, and that each serial killer has his own approach to finding victims.

   9. Snopes says the crying baby ploy is a hoax.

   Reply
7. 

   carlie

   March 21, 2006

   This is all well and good, but instead of women needing to protect themselves I wish there was more information out there that it is wrong to do these things in the first place. I’ll stop being a feminist when when women don’t have to be afraid for being a woman.

   Reply
8. 

   Katherine

   March 21, 2006

   Best site on self-defense that I’m aware of: http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/

   One of the reasons why it’s good is that the author is NOT trying to sell you anything.

   Best tip from the site: spend a week trying to think like a mugger. Figure out the best places to lurk along the routes you travel most often. Make a habit of checking those spots *every* time you go past them.

   Reply
9. 

   Breece

   March 21, 2006

   Ooooooooh, madame you are wonderful and always so full of surprises.

   Sidebar to tip #1 (training and experience), keep in mind that the groin is *not always your best target. Too many women I know believe this is their ticket out of a bad situation, but 1) men expect it and will guard against it, and 2) a blow to the groin really won’t stop most of them. It does, however, enrage them and if they intend to hurt you in the first place, it only adds fuel to the fire. Adrenaline does amazing things to the body. Aim for the nose, knees, or eyes (and the groin, just don’t make it your first or only target). Strike, distract, and GET OUT.

   A lot of law enforcement agencies (county sheriff and city police departments) sponsor low-cost or even no-cost self-defense classes tailored for women of all ages (men, too; you guys are just as vulnerable to attack!). Also check YMCA and possibly even the Red Cross. Let professionals show you how to protect yourself. Don’t be alarmed if someone grabs your tush and you don’t respond well the first time with all your spiffy new training. When push comes to shove and it’s all about survival, you’ll have those skills at your command. Learn them and practice them. They’ll serve you well.

   Awareness saves lives.

   Don’t open the door for a crying baby? Man, I’m a sucker for the next door neighbor’s cat.

   Sorry Miss Holly, protecting people is one of my deepest passions. Ramble: off

   Reply
10. 

    nicolane

    March 21, 2006

    Oh dear Holly, I’m afraid you’ve been had – this post almost in its entirety is thoroughly debunked on Snopes.

    http://www.snopes.com/crime/prevent/ninetips.asp

    Reply
11. 

    TinaK

    March 21, 2006

    All very good ideas Holly. Thanks. Just an FYI though: The crying baby is an urban legend.

    http://www.snopes.com/crime/warnings/crybaby.asp

    Reply

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