Not So Zen

In regards to last night’s pit viper adventure:

No, mowing the lawn last night was NOT particularly therapeutic. Though my heart did get a nice aerobic workout all on its own.

Yes, I did finish mowing the lawn (the front, anyway. I still have two hours of back yard waiting for me tonight). The way to guarantee that you have MORE poisonous snakes in your yard is to let your grass get tall. The phrase "snake in the grass" exists for a reason.

No, I do not have a webcam, and even if I did, I would not perform the snake dance for posterity. The steps, however, are quite simple. Just attempt to keep both of your feet at least twenty-four inches off the ground at all times, while windmilling your arms for added vertical lift. (If you’d like to send me a link, I’ll be happy to link back to web videos of YOU doing the snake dance.)

And yes, I have given thought to paving the yard. How much do you suppose 3.5 acres of concrete would cost?

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About the author: Novelist, writing teacher, on a mission to reprint my out-of-print books and self-publish my new ones.

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