More Stupid Mail

I get some wonderful, wonderful e-mails. I also get the occasional snarky “I hate your books and I hate you” mail. Whatever. It’s a big world, and there are a lot of other writers out there — no one has to like me.

But sometimes, I get these bizarre, cryptic messages from complete strangers that leave me thinking the writers really need to get back on their medication. These messages are always hostile, they’re always nasty. And they never make any sense. I received this prize today. No reference to any particular page or topic, no quote to give me an idea of what this genius is talking about. Just this:

You don’t know what youre talking about. Please get a decent education before you speak on topics that you don’t understand. If your read your bible you would understand. The Bible speaks of the Royal Bloodlines.

I’ve read the Bible. Several times, straight through, every word and every page. And I cannot begin to guess what Bright Child here is alluding to. Maybe the Aliens told him to write to me.

If this makes any sense to you whatsoever, you deserve a nickel and a Super Secret Decoder Ring. I couldn’t get anything meaningful from it, except for the urge to flip the finger at the computer monitor and a deep desire to post the sender’s e-mail address along with his stupid letter. Maybe next time.

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About the author: Novelist, writing teacher, on a mission to reprint my out-of-print books and self-publish my new ones.

5 comments… add one
  • Graham Dawson Oct 19, 2003 @ 12:24

    He might be a British Israelite guy. They beliefve the lost ten tribes of Israel migrated outward after the fall of Assyria and settled in various parts of europe and africa, including the british isles. Supposedly the old Danes are the tribe of Dan, and the Gaelic celts are Ephraim. Or something.

    Or he could be talking about the Merovingian, the mystery family that lived in the french alps and claimed to be descended from Jesus who, as the descendant of David, was the king of Israel.

    The final option is that he’s just a lonely conspiracy theorist. I think that’s most likely.

    Oh well, keep up the good work Holly. I been able to find any of your books around here, though I’m looking hard. I’ve found your page really useful.

    By the way, if anyone actually bothers clicking on my homepage link you won’t find anything. It’s not up properly yet. 😉

  • Sheila Oct 3, 2003 @ 13:30

    Just a guess, you linked to an interesting essay by Cal Thomas on theological dictators back in July. I’m betting said twit is either slapping you for endorsing it, or got confused and thinks you personally wrote it.

    Send him/her over to my weblog if you want. I love messing with snobs, especially religious ones. 🙂

  • Holly Lisle Oct 3, 2003 @ 6:45

    Your nickels are on the way. If you can tell me what the hell this has to do with me, I’ll send your decoder ring, too. [g]

  • Sheila Oct 2, 2003 @ 21:23

    What I’ve heard (not what I personally believe) regarding "royal bloodlines" in the bible:

    There are people who believe God designated a sanctified or royal bloodline in Genesis, when God makes an "everlasting covenant" with Abraham’s son, Isaac to make a great nation (Israel) etc. Jews in particular believed this for thousands of years, and many still do.

    The other theory is a bit more out there in LaLaland. I’ve read some Bible conspiracy-type theories where people believe that Mary Magdalene fled the Holy Land after the crucifixion of Jesus Christ and took refuge in whatever France was called way back then. They also believe Mary had a son by Christ, and that one of her child’s descendents was to take back the holy land and rule as king. It kind of gets mixed up in the crusades stories and grail legends from there.

    Does that earn me two nickels?

  • Katherine Oct 2, 2003 @ 20:22

    I’m not sure, but I think he called you white trash, or something roughly equivalent. Are you sure you won’t post his email address? Please? 😉

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