Missing Time, The HAWKSPAR Copyedit, and a fine line-for-scene

So in my revision of the Green Magic proposal, I discovered that, in ripping out the first version of the second and third chapters, I’d also managed to remove the hero and heroine escaping from the enemy prison. Yipes. I had about ten minutes of critical missing time while my folks get from inside the prison to the waiting rescue team. Problem is, I had limited space to fix the problem. I mean, chapter two is full and juicy, and chapter three is tight action and runs long anyway, but ends with the line “Then I killed myself,” and I’m not losing that cliffhanger at the end of the proposal because, well … would you?

I went over and over the material, and realized that I could cut about 3000 words from the rescued Version One chapter two down to about 600 if I just shot the hero (lethally) early in chapter two. So that’s what I did.

So we have the heroine breaking the hero out of prison, and the hero getting shot and being half an inch from death, and stuff I’m not going to tell you about, and more stuff I’m not going to tell you about, and then the heroine telling the hero that’s when she killed herself, and after that the synopsis. I’m feeling pretty good about the proposal now.

Got the HAWKSPAR copyedit today. Damn, that’s a tall stack of paper. Homework, has to be done and in by the 19th of next month. For once, I actually have time and don’t have to sweat how I’m going to fit it in. This is a wonderful feeling.

Finally, you have to go take a look at Jay Penney’s revision line-for-scene. It’s really impressive. Bigger than mine for HAWKSPAR.

Cheering you on, Jay.

Oh, oh! My sock recipient got her Serenity, Prosperity, Health socks, and they fit. Hah! That news made my day.

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