Maybe it SHOULD be a pissing contest…

This started out while I was musing in the shower this morning about possible answers for mothers who are potty-training sons (thirteen years too late for me, but whatever), and became this cool thing that made me laugh in spite this morning’s brutal migraine… and also made me wish—if only briefly, and I’m embarrassed to admit this—that A) it was real, and B) I could play.

So I share with you now:

The Pissing Contest Urinal And Game System™

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maybe-it-should-be-a-pissing-contest-HL

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About the author: Novelist, writing teacher, on a mission to reprint my out-of-print books and self-publish my new ones.

21 comments… add one
  • T Sep 15, 2013 @ 10:36

    There already is a minor league baseball stadium with urinal-based video games up here in Pennsylvania, so you clearly weren’t the first to have that sort of idea!

  • Elle Clouse Sep 12, 2013 @ 8:36

    My sons need this! Let me know when you launch this product and I’ll be there. You have no idea.

    • Holly Sep 12, 2013 @ 11:32

      I have two sons. So actually, I have a REALLY good idea…

  • Jean Sep 6, 2013 @ 18:12

    I’m thinking Dave and Busters and similar places are ripe for this.

  • Jean Sep 6, 2013 @ 18:11

    I cannot believe this does not yet exist.

    • Holly Sep 7, 2013 @ 9:21

      I can see it being really popular first in the restrooms of executive boardrooms and high-tech businesses, and REALLY popular in bars…

      And then as manufacturing costs drop, expanding into malls and other places where reduced janitorial costs for cleaning men’s rooms would partially pay for installs.

      With tiny at-home versions for moms with small boys, who would be ever so freaking grateful for the reduced clean-up.

      And, as Matt noted, guys get to win stuff for peeing. How cool is that?

  • Michelle Sep 5, 2013 @ 22:54

    Used a ping pong ball in the toilet bowl to train my two.
    This would have been so much more cool…

    • Holly Sep 6, 2013 @ 7:40

      😀 That’s a good idea.

      This even applies to big guys, though—I showed the post to Matt. He read the intro, turned to me with eyebrows raised, and said, “There’s something very wrong with you…” which I get a lot.

      And then he looked at the diagram, chuckled as he was studying it, and when he was done, said, “That’s cool. I want one.”

      Both of my sons had the same response.

  • Debby Hanoka Sep 5, 2013 @ 11:15

    Holly, you are too funny! Glad to see I’m not the only writer out here who’s warped and twisted — and I mean that in a good way.

    • Holly Sep 5, 2013 @ 11:26

      I take it as a compliment, believe me. That particular sort of weird has been my stock-in-trade my whole life.

  • Tuff Gartin Sep 5, 2013 @ 10:23

    Hi Holly,

    It’s always nice to see someone who has a mind as warped as mine:) BTW, my best ideas also come with my morning shower.

    Hope the migraines go away and stay away!

    Tuff

    • Holly Sep 5, 2013 @ 10:31

      😀 Thank you. And same here: Morning showers are one of my most reliable sources of ideas I wasn’t actually looking for.

      The whole concept seemed kind of Far-Sideish when I came up with it, but it has all but one of the major game mechanics:

      * Collection: The tickets
      * Points: The per-play and cumulative scores
      * Feedback: The live point-counting screen
      * Exchange: The loot you get with the tickets

      It’s missing:

      * Customization…

      …But when I started down that road, trying to come up with something that would work, I realized that this was NOT my tea party and I needed to walk away.

      • Tuff Gartin Sep 5, 2013 @ 11:30

        I take looooong showers. I would have worked out the Customization piece too:)

        Thanks for all you do for us! I know life has dealt you some serious blows. But your stick-to-it-tiveness is greatly appreciated by many of us out here. If I ever get published, Holly Lisle will be given some credit! (Not brown-nosing, just letting you know you are appreciated).

        Tuff

        • Holly Sep 5, 2013 @ 11:39

          Guessing you’re a guy. So you can consider the customization aspect without things getting really, really weird.

          For me…? No so much. I hit…um…extenders, and thought, “No, not today, not my bag of bagels…’

          • Tuff Gartin Sep 5, 2013 @ 11:57

            “Don’t go there, Tuff!” admonished Subconscious.

            “I wasn’t going to say anything too crude,” replied Tuff.

            “Tuff, I can see it in your eyes. That’s over the top. If you start talking about things that can be pulled or squeezed…well…just don’t go there! That’s TMI!”

            Yes, definitely a guy.

            • Holly Sep 5, 2013 @ 12:17

              ROFL! Yes. My subconscious is WAY too helpful at offering interesting suggestions. My subconscious is not housebroken.

              Silence is FREQUENTLY my fallback alternative.

        • Holly Sep 5, 2013 @ 13:29

          Oh, on the other thing, glad I could help.

          This blog’s previous title, Real Writers…Bounce, had that title for a reason.

          From my own experience, learning to bounce will save your life and your sanity, and allow you to experience joy and get work done (which are frequently the same thing) when those who wish you ill are forecasting your doom and cheering your destruction.

          • Tuff Gartin Sep 9, 2013 @ 7:52

            Thanks again Holly! And great advice (learning to Bounce). Murphy has been a permanent resident in my households since childhood. While that sucks because it has made my life unpleasant often times, it also has developed an ability for me to Bounce very well.

            Those of you out there who cannot Bounce, do what you can to learn how to instill this part of your character. It will be invaluable to you, and very freeing (is that a word?) to your writing career.

            Tuff

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