Insane Crazy Wonderful Cool

Back from the doc. No, don’t know what’s wrong with me yet, and he was not thrilled to see how bad the vertigo was. The specialist visits remain on the schedule.


I got a prescription for Antivert (meclizine) which is also available over the counter as chewable Dramamine or Bonine, and which I’ll probably end up just getting that way if this stays a problem. And the medication works. It only treats symptoms, but that it does beautifully.

I feel better than I have in a couple of months. I can work sitting up at my desk, I can walk without having to lean on Matt or a wall, the room is staying in one place instead of rocking like it was careering through heavy seas, I have no nausea, and even the headache is mostly better—though after doing a real-time happy dance just because I could, it went from gone to present again. So I’ll limit future happy dances to mental ones.

If the meclizine continues to work for me, I should be able to get myself back on a regular work schedule.

Right now, after having done a ton of e-mails, I’m getting ready to go through the 150+ pending Editor Applications. I felt too bad last night to even look at them, though I did check to see how many were in there. (Fewer than there are now.)

I’m hoping last night was the last time I’ll lose any work because of whatever this is.

Oh. The anemia is a non-issue. It was a temporary dip, and I’m back to normal there.

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49 responses to “Insane Crazy Wonderful Cool”

  1. Sailor Kenshin Avatar
    Sailor Kenshin

    I’m hoping that your doctors can clear up what’s wrong with you. Prayers and good wishes continue.

  2. Geraldine Ketchum Avatar
    Geraldine Ketchum

    Were you checked for Lyme Disease? I’m hearing it disguises itself in many dangerous ways. With your recent move, I wondered. A quick blood test and 2 weeks of antibiotics clear it up. (I know, it’s probably just wishful thinking.)
    A website you might find helpful for brain issues, is affiliated with Johns Hopkins. Interesting discussions and guaranteed to make anyone grateful they have what they’ve got, and not the problems others have. (Speaking as a migraineur for the past 30 years)

  3. Nancy Avatar

    Sorry to hear the antivert isn’t doing what you’d hoped. Here’s to you feeling much much better soon!


  4. Lisa Avatar

    Hi Holly, I was so happy to hear the Antivert was helping, then so sad to hear it wasn’t as effective as you initially thought. I hope you’ll be up doing happy dances soon.
    Best wishes – Lisa

  5. Anne Patricia Roberts Avatar

    Dear Holly — Your symptoms sound all to familiar to me. After 14 yrs of migranes, at last, I went to a neurologist. After trying everything else first — Allergists, pain management, injections, nutritionism, perscription morphine, almost Vodoo Witch Dr’s — I had a MRI series and the neurologist diagnosed me w Chiari (Same as Hanna, above). It is a brain malformation occurring in 2 % of the populace (rare) where the cerebellum extends down through the hole in the base of the skull where it is pressured and can bond w the spine. It can cause agony, dizziness, spinal injury, ectetera. If only to rule it out, please see a neurologist and tell them to check you for possible Chiari. You have nothing to lose by doing so, but if left mis/undiagnosed Chiari can cause irreversable damage. Corrective surgery is a viable option.
    See lots of info online (Chip’s Chiari Adventure was informative, believe it or not) Best of Luck — Anne

    1. Helenee Avatar

      2% of the populace suffering from Chiari Malformation does not seem so *rare*.
      On the other hand, according to a well-constructed website from a certain “National Institute of Neurologic Disorders and Stroke” for which I know nothing more, whose reliability I have no convenient way of verifying, and for which the only information I can provide is that it is hosted at ,

      “In the past, it was estimated that the condition occurs in about one in every 1,000 births. However, the increased use of diagnostic imaging has shown that CM may be much more common. Complicating this estimation is the fact that some children who are born with the condition may not show symptoms until adolescence or adulthood, if at all. CMs occur more often in women than in men and Type II malformations are more prevalent in certain groups, including people of Celtic descent.”

      So it’s 0,1% now.
      The woman is not feeling well, she might be ill, and I’m playing with numbers. I have read a poem written by Constantinos Cavaphes (pronounced Cavafis), one among the greek community prospering in the 19th century Alexandreia, Egypt, treating a very-very similar theme.

      I’m also glad that my studies in the art of writing are beginning to pull together and to form into the early fruit of this particular tree, which is me-writer. For example, I have executed quite many times the exercise of identifying the theme, the plot and other elements of an existing or a potential novel. It’s a classic point in any Writers’ 101. But that’s irrelevant — just writing, you know, don’t you?

      Anyway, let yourself go, girl(s), to any way your wind blows. We’re only human, after all.
      Be well.

  6. Anne Patricia Roberts Avatar

    Dear Holly -I’m relieved to see that you are not self-diagnosing. Certainly, your problem could be inner ear, but I was recently diagnosed with Chiari (same as Hanna, above). It is a disorder occuring in 2% of the populus. The cerebellum, at the back of your skull, forms tongues that extend through the hole in the base of the skull. The pressure there can (does) cause agony, dizziness, spinal injury and can lead to debilitation. After 14 yrs. of migranes, I saw a neurologist, had a series of MRI’s taken and when I become debilitaed, will have the corrective surgery for the malformation. For now, I work through the pain w excercise (running) and it helps me. Please, if only to eliminate Chiari as a diagnosis, see a neaurologist ASAP and tell them what you think you may have! Corrective surgery for this is a viable option, but damage will occur if you ignore Chiari! Best of Luck. Hope you, at least check it out online.

    1. Holly Avatar

      Got in to see a neurologist as soon as I could—currently counting down to just under two weeks remaining.

  7. WandersNowhere Avatar

    I’ve started outlining an idea for the RT story. It’s a vague thing at the moment but once I have some real characters to go in it, it’ll blossom.

    May bright news be on your horizon, sensei.

    1. WandersNowhere Avatar

      Minor rephrasing; may bright news come OVER your horizon and come to meet you.

      Much better.

  8. Stephanie Siebert Avatar
    Stephanie Siebert

    Glad to hear you’re feeling better!

  9. Will Avatar

    Just get better. Your battle for the idlist is an important endeavor. Plus, theres that whole, “being sick sucks” thing.

  10. Nina Paules Avatar

    Hang tight, Holly. Hugs and prayers. Nina

  11. Holly Avatar

    First, thank you so much for commenting and for offering support. I appreciate every post and email.

    Little update before I get back to work after taking the weekend off—the Antivert isn’t helping as much as I’d initially hoped. I’ll get maybe an hour or two of feeling pretty normal, and then four or five hours of being dizzy AND drowsy…and then I can take another Antivert.

    I’m hoping I’ll adjust to taking it, and that it’ll have better effects as I adapt, but I’m not holding my breath.

    Still have appointments to check out more fun things. Meniere’s remains on the table, there are some neurological things we’re checking out, and I’ll just go from there. Yippee.

  12. Crystal Avatar

    Hi, Holly. I hope you have a chance to read this.

    I hope more than anything right now that you will be okay. I just read the email (quite late) about the issues you’ve been experiencing. When you mentioned, “what if this is as good as it gets?” I was hit deeper than you could ever imagine (yes, even inside that creative mind of yours).

    I have an illness called Narcolepsy and it is a horrible battle every single day to live a “normal” life. I finally have a medicine that is helping me keep awake, and I am happy about this, but I have the exact thoughts in my head that you do. What if this is as good as it gets? And in my case, this probably is.

    I’m lucky that I’m not dying, and I hope from the depths inside myself that you will be okay too. Anyway, just saying that I understand the feelings. It’s terrifying to worry that you may never be able to do what you love to the extent that you were once capable. I’m 24 and it’s a long way looking up at that mudslide… But if I’m lucky enough to be even the slightest bit successful, I’ll be proud… Knowing that I did it while so much pushed me down will feel like something I probably can’t fathom at this time.

    Anyway, Holly, I guess what I’m trying to say is be strong and be proud of all that you have accomplished! You have followed your dream and you’ve done well with it. Even through the illness, wonder, and worry you are pushing through! Thank you so much for your emails as they have been a great help to me and surely others as well.

    Good luck! I am sending happy vibrations out into the universe for you! ๐Ÿ™‚

    1. Holly Avatar

      Hugs. I’m sorry you have something so difficult to deal with. And I send good wishes your way, too.

      I have adopted the phrase “keep on keeping on.” I’m going to do what I would have done anyway. It make take me longer, I may have to readjust some of my plans to a new schedule.

      Thank you very much for your encouragement.

  13. WandersNowhere Avatar

    Welcome back, boss ๐Ÿ˜€

  14. Donna June Avatar
    Donna June

    Hey, let’s hope it is BPPV and that it “resolves itself” so you don’t have to live with the drugs for long. Or something even more benign. I have a similar problem, but it was permanent damage to one ear and it did not resolve itself. However, my body “adapted” to it. My eyes figured out what was going on and adjusted and my “body sense” also adjusted. Everything ignores the messages from my right ear now. Th only problems I have are in “fun house” situations where what you see as a flat surface is not flat, or what you see as stable is moving. Then it kicks in. Other than that, I am fine. I even belly dance! I hope that yours goes away completely.

  15. Mike Avatar

    Very happy to hear you’re getting some relief. You don’t happen to take St. John’s Wort for anything do you? My wife and I both took it for a while for its “mood enhancing” effects, then found out it can, and did cause vertigo in both of us.

    1. Holly Avatar

      Nope. I take B12, B, and D vitamins. (D is fat-soluble and I was resistant to taking it for that reason, but I avoid dairy. AND direct sunlight—like the late George Carlin, the best I can hope for with tanning is to get some of the blue out. I go straight to blister, burn, and peel.) For the headaches I’ve been taking aspirin and Tylenol.

      As a matter of personal preference, I avoid all medications, prescription or otherwise, unless they’re absolutely necessary and I cannot find a dietary change or lifestyle change that will fix the problem.

      1. WandersNowhere Avatar

        In the pill-happy culture we seem to be living in these days, that’s a wise outlook.

  16. Ruth Avatar

    So glad you are feeling better! It must be awful to go so long without answers. I hope you find out what’s going on quickly and have a super-speedy recovery.

  17. Helenee Avatar

    I’m very happy you’re feeling better and able to get on more effectively with your life again.
    Getting rid of the symptom is wonderful in itself.
    Hope you find very soon the cause of it as well.

    I think it’s a good advice to try not to push yourself too hard — please…
    You can do whatever you want and Rebel Tales will sooner or later be on its way, since you are determined to do it. But we all want you to take good care of yourself in order to be able to take care of your project and put your own special mark on it.

    You see, the reason all these wonderful people are gathered in this community is its creator, its voice, its soul — it’s you, Holly.

    Wishing you the best

  18. Kyralae Avatar

    So glad you found some relief. I had one of those constant vertigo episodes a year ago. They found that a tiny piece of the cochlear had flaked off and was interfering with the the tiny hairs inside that control your sense of balance. Nothing you can do but treat the symptoms until the piece dissolves. It took about 8 months but at least it ended. Kinda hard to function when the moving about is like walking on the deck of a ship in high seas. ๐Ÿ™‚ Rest up and get better.

    1. Holly Avatar

      I’m hoping it’ll be something like this—a self-solving problem that won’t require surgery or have other fallout.

  19. Vanessa Wells Avatar
    Vanessa Wells

    I know this sounds awful, but sometimes when we’re doing exactly what we’re supposed to be doing with our lives, when we’re just about to reach a goal we’ve worked toward for years…it seems like the road gets more potholes that you’ve seen for the rest of the entire trip.

    The fact that you don’t give up reminds the rest of us not to.


  20. Diane Avatar

    Hi, Holly, glad the antivert is working for you–when I took it, it only made me feel drunk and dizzy. If you’re into this sort of thing, I recommend the book You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay. I wasn’t much of a believer–until some things were proved to me. The vertigo/dizziness I believe is a refusal to see …something. At the time I suffered from vertigo off and on for years and had no idea what I wasn’t wanting to examine in my life. It took a couple of years to get to the point where I was willing to discover what I kept hiding from but when I did–no more vertigo. Know it sounds weird, but true.

    Hope you continue to feel better and find a root cause. Love the idea of Rebel Tales.

    take care,

  21. Barbara Avatar

    Hi Holly,

    I love reading your updates. You do such great work and always have something interesting to say. I’m so glad you’re feeling better now. My sister had a bad bout of vertigo a couple of years ago and was at her wits end. WHo knows why or what caused it. She went to see a spirit healer after getting no satisfaction from conventional medicine. That’s not to say that they don’t do fantastic work. They just couldn’t find the root cause.
    There’s a tradition of spirit healers in Ireland. He prayed over her and she said she felt very woozy afterwards. Lo and behold it gradually got better. I believe she was graced with a healing but I think she forgot to put two and two together. Don’t work too hard! Listen to your body if it’s trying to slow you down for a while.

    Keep well! Barbara

  22. Nita Avatar

    So, so, so happy to hear you’re doing better whether pharmaceutically enhanced or not!

  23. Gloria Avatar

    Holly Hooray!
    My daughter who is laten-deaf has the same symptoms periodically and it gets so bad that on her way to work, if she sneezed, she has to sit down on the sidewalk till the world rights itself!
    So happy to hear the Rx is working for you.
    God is good

  24. Kari Wolfe Avatar

    Yay, Holly! I ‘m glad that you’ve found a medication that will help the symptoms. I hope the specialist visits will determine what’s causing you to feel like this, but I’m really glad that you’ve found something to help you feel better in the meantime. ๐Ÿ™‚

  25. Arvik Avatar

    Holly, so wonderful to hear that you’re feeling better! I’m so glad that you’ve found some relief. My fingers remain crossed for you- hopefully you’ll be able to find the root cause soon.

    Hang in there!

  26. Sapphire Avatar

    What a rotten experience. At last, some relief!

    BTW, my application should be in that pile you’re going through. But the software doesn’t recognize my credentials. It locked me out and I can’t view my ticket, so I’m not sure you ever received the material.

    I read that you told someone else to email you directly, so I will, too. Hope that’s OK.

    Please take care of yourself.

  27. Hanna Avatar

    I am glad they finally gave you some meds to get some relief. When I had vertigo (before getting the surgery to treat Chiari) the same meds helped a lot. Once you get it to calm down, you will find out how little, or how much, of this you need if another espisode creeps up on you.

    It will take a few days, I am sure, so enjoy the rest while you can.

  28. Rebecca Avatar

    So glad you’re feeling better. Just, go easy on yourself and ease back in slowly! ๐Ÿ™‚

  29. Amy Laurens Avatar

    *virtual cookies* for you and your muse, Holly :o) Good luck wading through the apps!!

  30. Carolyn K Avatar
    Carolyn K

    Oh please be careful. Don’t push yourself too hard.

  31. djmills Avatar

    Wonderful news! Keep taking it easy until they fix you up, but glad you can sit and use your computer. ๐Ÿ™‚

  32. Michelle Avatar

    So glad you’re feeling better. Blessings on you and your family.

  33. Megs - Scattered Bits Avatar
    Megs – Scattered Bits

    I’m glad you’re feeling better. You’ve been in my thoughts.

  34. The Pencil Neck Avatar
    The Pencil Neck

    Excellent! That’s a step in the right direction.

  35. Deb Salisbury Avatar

    Hurray! I’m glad you found something that helps!

  36. Brittany Avatar

    Yay! ๐Ÿ˜€ That’s great news!

  37. April Avatar

    Very glad you found medication that will help the symptoms…crossing my fingers that you find out the root cause soon and that it can be cured (or at least maintained long term so you can feel the way you used to feel and do everything you want to do!).

  38. Kaitlyn R. Miller Avatar

    Hooray! I’m so glad you’re doing better!

  39. Rabia Avatar

    Yay! Glad to hear you’re feeling better. ๐Ÿ™‚

  40. Faith Avatar

    I’m so glad things are looking up, if even in small ways. As long as you’re feeling better and are able to get back to doing what you love, I’d say that’s definitely worth celebrating with a (mental) happy dance! ๐Ÿ™‚

  41. Danielle Avatar

    Oh, Holly, I’m so glad you’re feeling better!!! :D:D:D Hope you continue to feel better, and hope the doctor does his job and makes you stay that way!!

  42. Danzier Avatar

    YAY!! ๐Ÿ˜€

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