Good sex, bad sex

I got the scene that had me stonewalled for the last couple of days. It was not an easy go, and I’m sure I’ll have some big rewriting to do before I’m willing to send it off to the publisher. However, it works now — does the several jobs I was requiring of this one scene. It had to — establish the sexual relationship between the female protagonist and her new lover and shift it into high gear immediately but plausibly; be sexy and exciting and sensual; foreshadow something going wrong without being obvious about it; give the narrator her own words for the experience; and allow me a graceful diving board into the next section. This is a lot to ask of any scene, and getting it right in this one drove me nuts.

I’m going to post a partial in Sneak Peeks (you have to be a Forward Motion Writers’ Community member to read the Sneak Peek stuff, but this section is R-rated, and besides, membership is free and without strings, and I don’t want to post R-rated snippets on the main weblog). It is raw first draft — not spellchecked, not even reread. This is straight from brain to fingertips before I have a chance to clean it up. Please, therefore, ignore errors. I’ll get them in the next-day once-over.

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About the author: Novelist, writing teacher, on a mission to reprint my out-of-print books and self-publish my new ones.

5 comments… add one
  • slaterl Jun 19, 2003 @ 23:47

    Holly,
    I’ll second all the first comments. Wow! Words are inadequate. After I read it I wondered how they didn’t catch the hay on fire!
    SIFI Rob

  • Michael Jun 18, 2003 @ 9:40

    Ahm… whew! (fanning self…take a deep breath)
    I guess you got over that little problem 🙂

    Ok, the book will have to go one my reading list now! LOL

  • Jean Jun 15, 2003 @ 10:50

    Ah. There’s nothing like the first time with an experienced partner.

    I’ll have to see if I caught the foreshadowing when I read the book. Sometimes I do, and sometimes I only catch it in retrospect.

    Perhaps I shouldn’t have, but I laughed at a couple points. Since I’m not allowed to quote, I’ll have to spare you the details. The ending dialogue, both internal and external was exquisite. Bravo!

  • EJ Jun 15, 2003 @ 8:02

    Great good heavens, woman! I don’t think I want to know where the research for THAT come from! Oh, that I would someday write something like that. *kneels on the floor to kiss your boots*

    I’ll second what Peggy said: Talyn is due out when?

  • Peggy Kurilla Jun 15, 2003 @ 7:51

    Wow!

    That was a heck of a scene to wake up to–but I’m not complaining!

    Without knowing in more detail what you were after in the scene (i.e., the foreshadowing bits you mentioned and the scene that follows it), I think it succeeded nicely. I’m looking forward to reading your finished version (TALYN is due to be published when? grin) and comparing it to this draft to see how you tweak it.

    Congratulations.

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