Cloned Food Okay … Except ….

By Holly Lisle

You know those drug ads where you get the great news about all the good things the newest wonder-drug is going to do for you, accompanied by foggy, dreamy Vaseline-cam pictures of beautiful people running through fields of clover and daisies, followed by a monotoned weasel reading the product warnings at Guinness-World Record Speed: “May cause itching, rashes, headaches, stomach-aches, nausea, vomiting, internal bleeding, hallucinations, rectal eversion, two-headed dwarfism, insanity, cannibalism, and murderous psychosis in some users, only itching and cannibalism more common than with placebo in double-blind testing …”?

Break out your Ronco® Weasel-Spotter™, ’cause I have some Good News for you — the FDA has determined that cloned food products are okay for you to eat.


And one friggin’ gem that I’m still trying to muddle my way through, so help me out here if you can —

Article says: “Industry experts say it would make no sense to eat clones themselves, since a cloned cow costs about $19,000.”

With you there, bucko. But, um … if you turn the little buggers loose in a field, they’ll reproduce for free. So in what universe is Free Normal Cow Without Bizarre Health Problems less economical than $19,000 Cloned Cow With Bizarre Health Problems?

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