I ended up throwing out not just the first scene, but the entire concept of the first scene. Tossed all the new stuff I’d written over the last few days. Gone, all gone, just gone. No more Maddie, Piper, and Jean doing work chat. No job angst — that’ll be there, but not as the opener.
Now it’s just Bailey up in the tower watching a rumpled, frazzled guy get out of his black Humvee and walk across the parking lot, and Ardell the Volunteer not using the intercom. Again.
It’s cleaner. Quieter. It starts the story with the story. I’ll have room for Piper and Maddie and Jean later. Now, though, it’s just Bailey, and Cam, and the bad thing that happened over at his place.