Obama’s Thought Police
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Here’s a fun little story for you. Barack Obama has hired on an Internet team to intimidate bloggers who don’t kiss his ass. To think I’d pegged this guy as someone to vote for. Had discussed him positively with my husband and adult kids, had mentioned him somewhere in this blog as being a possible step in the right direction for the country.

Of course, that was before I found out ex-Weathermen were funding his campaign, that he has the single most leftist voting record in the Senate, and that he’s sponsored a bill to fingerprint all mortgage lenders, treating them like criminals. (Does innocent until PROVEN guilty still mean anything to anyone in this country)?

And now this. Sure, the article says the team is just going to combat rumors. So what I want to know is, are they going to combat rumors while wearing a uniform—that is, are they going to identify themselves. Or are they going to cheat, to pretend to just be regular readers of the blogs they attack?

And let’s see how long it takes them to expand their mission, to start going after anyone who suggests Obama might not be the Promised One, might just be another scumbag politician, might in fact be the biggest scumbag running this year (and considering the field, that’s digging pretty deep).

After I discovered Obama was just another crapmeister (thus making the field a perfect three-for-three), I wasn’t sure I was going to waste my time with a vote for President this year. Now I might have to, just to vote against him.

Death and Painted Ladies
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So we got our kid a Painted Lady butterfly kit as part of his science education this year–if you watch kids’ or educational channels, you’ve seen these kits on TV.

The ads appeal to the scientist in kids, and to the “hey, cool” factor in parents, so we willingly sent off for the butterfly treehouse, and when we got it, filled out the coupon and sent for the live caterpillars.

The first Painted Lady caterpillars arrived a week later, five of them, all about the size of mouse droppings (I have lived in some exciting places in my life, and know what these look like), and unfortunately, all DOA (dead on arrival).

The kid took it pretty well, considering.

Warily, because while the first batch was cheap, the refills were expensive, I sent off for a second batch.

These arrived in wonderful shape, vigorously munching away in their safe, moisture-free container, and within a few days, we had five chrysalids ready to be transferred to their treehouse, where they would complete the change from lumpy, ugly caterpillars to lovely butterflies. All was well, the kid was thrilled, I was relieved.

The kid and I pinned the paper on which the caterpillars had attached their chrysalids to the inside of the butterfly treehouse, and carefully following instructions, found a sturdy surface where they would not be in direct sunlight, would not get knocked over, and would be able to complete their transformation in peace and safety.

We imagined a future scene something like this:

In a perfect world, this is the way things work.

In the Deep South, however, we have fire ants.

If you can drive a riding mower over an anthill and have the anthill stall the mower, welcome to the Deep South. If you can do it twenty or thirty times in the same yard (I do not have a lawn, I have a yard) welcome to my world. Fire ant mounds get to be about a foot-and-a-half to two feet across, and can hit a foot in height. The mounds, furthermore seem to have territories with about a seven-to-ten foot diameter, so if you’re mowing 3 acres of barely-converted pasture, you’ll hit a lot of them.

Don’t step on them, don’t mess with them. Be a little careful about ever going to sleep. And, if you have a well and value the drinkability of your water, learn to live with them.

BUT ALSO….

Ignore every carefully-detailed instruction in the pamphlet on raising butterflies that in any way suggests you should keep your butterfly treehouse on the floor.

We came out today to one of those Wild Kingdom lions-ripping-the-innards-out-of-zebras scenes in miniature that makes you more than a little queasy. The fire ants had found the crysalids, and were tearing into them with the sort of gusto they’d exercise on us if we couldn’t get up and run.

Looking at that mess, I figured our future butterflies were all dead. I dragged the thing into the kitchen, with the kid trailing me, and started pulling everything out of the treehouse. The kid was tragic–stoic on the outside and mad and on the edge of tears, his hands balled into fists.

Two of the chrysalids had gaping holes in them. A third did not, but did not wriggle when touched—odds are he was dead right then. Two others still wriggled, and I passed this news on to the kid, who underwent the sort of transformation I was hoping for from the damned bugs. He became radiantly happy and full of hope.

I killed all the ants in the treehouse (with my thumb–anything that would kill ants would certainly kill butterflies), shot their corpses out of the mesh with a can of compressed air, put a napkin on the bottom of the treehouse, put the three chrysalids that didn’t have holes eaten into them into the ant-free treehouse, and my hubby and I hung the thing from a knob on a high cabinet door, with the door swung open to be out of convenient reach of ants. I hope.

It may not help. By the time we got the chrysalids into the treehouse, none of them were still moving. So now we wait ten days, to see if any of the potential survivors survived. The kid knows that, in spite of everything we did, they’re probably all three already dead. We’re giving them a chance and hoping for the best, but this is one of those life lessons where the outcome will almost certainly hurt.

We aren’t soft-selling this. We didn’t shield the kid from the holes in the two partially-devoured chrysalids. I didn’t hide the nastiness from him when I cleaned out the mess. And he and his dad were with them when the last two stopped moving.

Life has consequences, we screwed up by not considering that around here, we have ants, and they’re nasty. We were responsible for the Painted Ladies’ lives, the kid and I, and we were responsible for their deaths. Something I’ve learned from personal experience as well as watching the parade of tragedies that came through my various ERs was that people who don’t learn how to deal with the consequences of little tragedies—who were shielded by their parents throughout their childhoods and who grow up thinking life is soft and safe—are people who fail to prevent preventable big tragedies, and who don’t have any tools to deal with any tragedies—preventable or not—when they happen. Kids who have had to deal with the pointy end of life early on, whether it’s butterflies-in-waiting devoured by invading predators or old cats who finally give out, are a little better braced for the bigger tragedies that await every one of us.

Go with grace, enjoy the beauty of the day and every sweet breath, because life is an amazing gift and a wonderful opportunity. But preview your actions for possible consequences—think before you leap. And watch your back.

It’s still a jungle out there.

I Always Liked Montana
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This from the Patriot Post:

In the continuing saga of District of Columbia v. Heller, 39 of Montana’s elected officials have signed a resolution declaring that a Supreme Court ruling against the individual right of gun ownership would give their state grounds for leaving the union. It seems that when Montana’s settlers signed a statehood contract in 1889, one of the conditions was that the federal government agreed that individuals had the right to keep and bear arms. If the Supreme Court rules that firearm ownership is merely a state or “collective” right, Montana officials say that the statehood contract will have been breeched. “The U.S. would do well to keep its contractual promises to the states that the Second Amendment secures an individual right now as it did upon execution of the statehood contract,” Montana Secretary of State Brad Johnson said in a letter to The Washington Times. The Times also notes that the “collective right” interpretation of the Second Amendment doesn’t hold water in Montana because the state didn’t have a militia in the 1880s. “It’s pretty disingenuous as an argument,” Gary Marbut, president of the Montana Shooting Sports Association, said. “At the time, they had no image of what a National Guard was. But history and logic don’t always prevail in these matters.” Indeed. Our advice to the Supreme Court is that before they upset somebody with their ruling, they might want to consider which side has the guns.”

I could see my way to moving there.

Pulitzer-Prize-winning playwright, screenwriter, and film director David Mamet’s conversion from arch-liberal to conservative was pretty heartening, too.

I’m not a Republican. Nor anything like. But where guns and free markets and education and the US Constitution are concerned, I’m deeply conservative.

Damn. This is awesome.
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In my ongoing campaign to assure you that the sky is indeed falling*, the end of the world is nigh, and dogs and cats will soon be living together while glaciers devour your back yard as your house floats out to sea in the Alaskan tropics during this Worst Year Ever For Hurricanes, I bring you:

35 Inconvenient Truths
Or the Nifty PDF, if you’d rather keep a copy to share with all your friends.

Enjoy.

My site was cracked this morning
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The affiliate program, iDevAffiliate, one of the worst-supported pieces of software in human history, was cracked, and a phishing scam was inserted into a hidden file that directed people to what appeared to be a Skype website.

I deleted the phishing scam, but because iDevAffiliate does not support their software, I also deleted the affiliate program, in order to protect people’s information and to prevent any sort of recurrence. The iDevAffiliate program will not be back in any form. If you are or were an affiliate, please delete your links.

I don’t know at this point if there will be any sort of affiliate program in the future. I’ve let a lot of people down, and I’m not sure how to fix that, and I’m not sure how to prevent something like it from happening in the future.

I’d like to add that Jorge Catena, owner of Downtownhost.com, immediately responded to my SOS and within about two minutes had deleted the phishing folder. The problem came not from the host, but from very bad software.

ADDED LATER:

Jorge Catena recommended JRox.com Affiliate software, and JRox looks like it could integrate user data from the iDevAffiliate database. It doesn’t look like it will integrate commissions. It does look very well supported, which would make it much less likely to be hacked.

DearAuthor.Com Behaving Badly
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The charming correspondence I have had with [the pseudonymous] Jane Little at DearAuthor.com, who believes frank lying about someone is a protected form of free speech.

You’ll notice that in this entire exchange, I have never threatened Ms. Little once. I have never suggested suing or seeking to have her site shut down. I have, in fact, done nothing but ask for a much-deserved apology and a retraction.

—–Original Message—–
From: Holly Lisle
Sent: Saturday, December 09, 2006 10:52 AM
To: jane@dearauthor.com
Subject: Contact from Dear Author Website

Holly Lisle wrote:
To whichever Ja(y)ne wrote “Holly Lisle Hates the Chains”:

It does astonish me that, since you not only misrepresented what I said but flat-out lied about it, clearly with the intent of damaging my livelihood, and I pointed this out clearly, you have neither printed a public retraction nor an apology.

You do owe me both.

Holly Lisle

Website: http://hollylisle.com/


On Dec 9, 2006, at 12:06 PM, Jane wrote:

Dear Ms. Lisle

We will be printing neither a public retraction nor an apology.

Under the laws of defamation, libel is only considered to be actionable when the statements that were made were untrue, not a omment/opinion, or otherwise privileged.

The quotes were taken directly from your blog post and the statements that were made on the DearAuthor blog were either true and/or opinion which is protected free speech.

Further, for a public figure such as yourself, the bar is much higher for proving defamation by requiring a showing of actual or legal malice, depending on the jurisdiction.

If you have specific parts that you believe were not accurate, feel free to point those out and we will take that into consideration.

Thank you,

Sincerely

Jane Litte


—–Original Message—–
From: Holly Lisle [mailto:holly@hollylisle.com]
Sent: Sunday, December 10, 2006 10:21 AM
To: Jane
Subject: Re: Contact from Dear Author Website

On simple lies made by you which are clearly contradicted in my post, Ms. Little, I can carry the burden of proof all damn day. Witness:

1. to state “Holly Lisle Hates the Chains”. Flatly false. I never said it, I never implied it, and the fact that you managed to infer
it only compounds the extraordinary number of other lies you told in the same article. All listed below.

2. “Lisle says that her career is being killed by Chain Bookstores.” My statement, in fact, was exactly the opposite. “I’m not in danger of having my career killed at the moment,” from the first post in the series.
http://hollylisle.com/writingdiary2/index.php/2006/11/29/the-tonk-need-rescue/

3. Next flat-out lie: “In Ms. Lisle’s fantasy construct, the white hats are the Indie Booksellers and the black hats are the Chain
Booksellers.” My exact words were “To understand why chain bookstores are the Villians of Bookselling.” Unless you are in fact
a bookstore, you were not figured anywhere in my equation, and neither was any other bookseller.

4. Next lie: “Amongst the dark lord’s sins are the failure or refusal of the bookseller in the chain to read the book; to want to respond to the market (ie promising sales); or even to actually want to sell books.” What I said was: “The computer spits out the fact that Midlist Writer’s New Novel sold 900 copies, so Corporate Buyer, who almost certainly hasn’t read the book, hasn’t talked to a single reader about the book, and looks at the book as no different than Cans of Tuna, Brand A, will order 900 copies of Midlist Writer’s Next Novel.” You are not a corporate buyer, either, so neither you nor any other bookseller was insulted by this —and neither were corporate buyers, who do skim some books, but who mostly listen to pitches from publishers’ sales representatives, and who, as a result, regard about 99% of the books the purchase as simply product. They have no emotional involvement with them.

5. Your next lie states that I suggested indies were a good sales point for romance: “Gandalf’s minions, the Hobbits, cheerfully
handsell all books. They never scoff at a romance readers inquiry about midlist authors like Caroline Linden or Carla Kelly. They never deem romance books as trash; instead the Hobbits value all the book readers the same.” My words were: “In an indie bookstore, a human being will notice that five copies of Midlist Writer’s New Novel sold out of six ordered. Indie Owner will say, “Wow. That’s excellent.” Indie Owner will reorder, say, three or four or more copies, and he or one of his booksellers might read the book, may suggest it to people who he knows to like that sort of thing, and when supplies run out, will reorder it again so that copies stay on the shelves.” I said nothing whatsoever about romance. Romance, and Wal-Mart, Target, etc., are completely irrelevant to my discussion because publishers have to pay about a dollar a copy to put books in the racks at those venues, and the specific book I was talking about, again introduced the previous post, which you clearly did not read, is a FANTASY novel, and in MY world, Wal-Mart, Target, etc. don’t exist as markets at all because MY book, which is fantasy, will never have a shot at those readers. Mentioning them is pointless.

6. Next lie: “Lisle goes on to say that Local Chain booksellers do not order books once they run out in the store and that they are
prohibited from doing so and that midlist books have no chance of selling more than their original order.” What I said was: “Even if
they are not, though-even if Local Chain receives seven copies and sells six, Local Chain WILL NOT REORDER THE BOOK unless it sells above a set number chain-wide. Most midlist novels are ordered in quantities too small to ever reach this number, and unless a miracle happens, are essentially stillborn. From the day the first copy of the first novel ships, these series have no chance (barring the aforementioned miracle) of selling more than their initial order.” Again, unless you personally are a local chain, you are excluded from this portion of the discussion, as is every other human bookseller, because here I am discussing the chains’ automatic replenishment system, which most books NEVER qualify for. Never do I state OR imply that booksellers are prohibited from reordering books. And most midlist book don’t have any chance of selling more than their original order. There are too many books and simply not enough human booksellers in the system to overcome the computerized order-to-the-net algorithms that destroy so many careers. You state: “A book may be re-ordered according to the discretion of the local chain bookseller,” and this is absolutely true. Out of all the books in the fantasy section, how many have you personally gone to bat for? Are all the booksellers in all the chains going to bat for that same book? What about all the fantasy novels you never got around to reading—any chance one of those might be worth saving?

7. Next lie: “Bookstores, says a manager of a local chain bookstore, receive arcs and promotional items from authors to help cull their book from the pack.” “Perhaps Ms. Lisle should have spent time cultivating relationships like those.”

I have.

8. “I find it hard to believe that an author whose sell through rate is 90%+ could ever lose a contract with a publisher.” Believe. If
you had read the post clearly, you’d find that even though the first book sells through at 90%+, the second book is ordered in lower
numbers, “to-the-net”, and therefore gets proportionately less shelf space, and leaves readers who bought the first book not finding the second, and does not sell to readers who cannot find the first, and therefore has a lower sell-through. And the percentage worsens for the third book. All three books can have wonderful reviews from readers, from reviewers, and the third can even be repeatedly called the “best book of the series” and there will be no contract for a fourth. I’ve been through this cycle with four publishers now. In each case, the computerized “ordering-to-the-net” system has decreased numbers that should have grown, and has eventually led to me moving to yet another publisher, yet another segment of the genre, and even to yet another genre.

9. Last lie: “Pretty sure that when you call Indie Booksellers the HEROES and Chain Booksellers the VILLIANS that your words were taken and consumed appropriately.” Never said it. Never implied it. In the economies of scale with chain computerized replenishment and ordering to the net, the human component, the bookseller, isn’t plentiful enough to make a difference for more than a handful of writers. Lora Leigh may have gotten her miracle, but Barry Hughart, a World Fantasy winner, didn’t. He never got a second chance. Alis Rasmussen, who eventually got a second chance as Kate Elliot, didn’t. And so far, I haven’t either. And neither have hundreds of other good writers whose books were never lucky enough to catch a bookseller’s eye.

The post was about ordering-to-the-net (which is why that was its title, actually), and in your entire dishonest rant about me, you
never addressed the ugly realities of ordering to the net to those of us whose careers don’t have a Wal-Mart to save us.

I still think both a retraction and an apology are in order, and I think I’ve presented enough facts to back that up.

Holly Lisle


From: jane@dearauthor.com
Subject: RE: Contact from Dear Author Website
Date: December 10, 2006 5:17:37 PM EST
To: holly@hollylisle.com

Ms. Lisle

Thank you for your email. Unfortunately, we have a differing opinion on the law that governs free speech and the limits imposed by the doctrine of defamation. As I am sure you are aware, the Supreme Court of the United States has required those bringing an action for defamation to prove that there is something more than opinion that is being challenged. Additionally, you know that commentary and interpretation is considered protected. If you decide to pursue this, I would rather discuss this matter with your attorney rather than engage in a continuing discussion of what the law permits regarding opinions.

The only “fact” that I see we have mistaken is regarding the health of your career. We will certainly print an apology and retraction in the following form. I will post this tomorrow morning.

Holly Lisle has contacted me and accused us of engaging in libel. She has claimed that we have lied and misconstrued her original post in the post that was published last week. We suggest that you readers, if you have any question in your mind about what she said, read her blog posts here and here. Dear Author does not believe in succumbing to intimidation and threats. We know that the First Amendment and subsequent case law interpreting the First Amendment protects us from challenges to our right to post our views and opinions. We remain committed to protecting this site from censorship and from any attempts to stifle our legitimate voice.

We did get one fact wrong. In the original post, I stated that Holly Lisle’s career was in danger. Holly Lisle has kindly informed us that she is in no danger of having her career killed at the moment. I suggest that all readers who feel so compelled to read her books can feel comfortable getting them at a Used Bookstore or their library or borrowing it from a friend or other reader through a source like paperbackswap to test out if Lisle’s writing is to your liking.

If you wish to post the below itemizations, I would be happy to link to that as well.

Best

Jane Litte

All articles in this series, in order:

And after a furor by chain booksellers
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It would be lovely if people would learn to read what was written, or would perhaps not so closely identify themselves with their jobs that they believe a hostile comment about a bad corporate business practice was a hostile comment about themselves.

For the record, then, to those of you who are chain booksellers:

Read what I wrote, dammit, and not what other sloppy readers tell you I wrote. Someone actually had the balls to state that I hate chains, putting words into my mouth that were never there. Idiot. And to state baldly that I said chain booksellers are evil, which I never have and never will. (Actually, there’s a term for what that writer did when claiming I said things I did not say, and it isn’t “idiot,” and it would best be explored by lawyers.)

No, I don’t think chain booksellers are evil. Good Christ!

But the practice of buying books to the net, WHICH IS WHAT I WAS DISCUSSING, AND ONLY WHAT I WAS DISCUSSING, is destructive of careers and books and futures, and chain employees’ employers at the highest level are involved in that practice. If dedicated chain booksellers can overcome the corporations’ bad business practices by overriding computerized ordering in order to keep good books from disappearing from the shelves, then do it. We’ll cheer them for it. Having watched many wonderful series that started to great acclaim and died because of the practice, including several of my own, however, I can tell any reader now that however many chain booksellers there are out there who are actually paying attention, handselling, putting favored books on Our Picks Shelves, and everything else, it still isn’t enough to stop the tide that has killed so many wonderful careers.

As yourselves, what DID happen to Barry Hughart, and why didn’t anyone save him? Or Alis Rasmussen with her earliest works?

I can tell you exactly what happened to THE WORLD GATES, and ARHEL, and THE SECRET TEXTS.

Ordering to the net.

You may, if you like, call me a terrible person for having said it (though be goddamned careful not to put words in my mouth that I didn’t put there myself when you do it), but that does not make what I said untrue, and it does net magically transform selling to the net into some brilliant bit of corporate goodness. It is what it is.

All articles in this series, in order:

Ordering to the net, or …
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How to kill a career in three easy books

Added 12/14/2006:

The following post is about corporate bookstores’ inventory control and automatic replenishment systems and their effect on writers—a process that is centralized from a corporate headquarters, entirely computer-driven across all stores within the corporate chain, and that, unless bypassed by a human being, operates on algorithms that destroy many, many midlist careers in three books. The post is about humans (writers) vs. the machine (a few computer programs), and about a bunch of squashed-flat Davids versus a Goliath who at the moment is winning. The post references independent booksellers, because with indies, each bookstore reports its own numbers and does its own reordering with human intervention, and the actions of individual booksellers can have a large effect on the numbers the store posts. This post does not reference chain booksellers, because the economies of scale across hundreds of stores erase the efforts of the most dedicated chain booksellers to handsell books, unless they handsell the same group of titles across the entire chain.

Just about everyone got this. A very few who didn’t, however, managed to find offense where none existed. If you’re not familiar with publishing terminology, a short glossary has been added below.

Noel Figart asked:

Were you trying to imply that Tayln hasn’t hit the chains? I saw two copies in Borders.

Bought one.

Thank you for buying one. And no, I was certainly not implying anything like that. Talyn landed in the chain here (on a bottom shelf on the back of the row) and two copies mysteriously found their way to the front top shelf of Fantasy New Releases. It will, for a little while, at least, be in chains around the country.

What I was talking about was the way that chain stores kill books and writers’ careers. They do this by ordering to the net.

To understand why chain bookstores are the Villians of Bookselling, first you have to understand how books are sold right. So we’ll look at the Heroes of Bookselling, independent (or indie) bookstore owners and booksellers.

In an indie bookstore, a human being will notice that five copies of Midlist Writer’s New Novel sold out of six ordered. Indie Owner will say, “Wow. That’s excellent.” Indie Owner will reorder, say, three or four or more copies, and he or one of his booksellers might read the book, may suggest it to people who he knows to like that sort of thing, and when supplies run out, will reorder it again so that copies stay on the shelves. Ad infinitum, as long as the book keeps selling from the shelves. He may even keep a copy or two on the shelves once general interest dies down.

When Midlist Writer’s Next Novel comes out, he’ll order maybe ten copies as a starter (three more than the time before, giving the book a bigger space on the shelves and a better chance of succeeding), and he’ll order a couple more copies of the first book, especially if it’s a series, and he’ll keep an eye on sales because this second novel might do well for him, too. When the third book, Midlist Writer’s Best Novel EVER comes out, the indie owner or the knowledgable bookseller will get the news out to the store’s clients, and will order extra books, and will handsell the series to new customers. And so Indie Owner will build the writer’s career. Book by book, recommendation by recommendation, and reader by reader.

Every writer publishing today should LOVE indie bookstore owners and booksellers. Once upon a time, all bookstores were indie bookstores, and many Midlist Writers had real careers and could feed their families on their writing.

Then came the chains, which began slaughtering midlister’s careers left and right, hundreds at a time. (And slaughtering indie bookstores, too, but that’s a rant for another time.)

Here’s how chains kill books and careers. When chains order, Corporate Buyer orders a number of copies of Midlist Writer’s New Novel for the entire chain, and these are distributed per a computerized formula to the various stores. They are shelved. Frequently, chains will only get one or two copies which will be spined out, dooming them to invisibility. Even if they are not, though—even if Local Chain receives seven copies and sells six, Local Chain WILL NOT REORDER THE BOOK unless it sells above a set number chain-wide. Most midlist novels are ordered in quantities too small to ever reach this number, and unless a miracle happens, are essentially stillborn. From the day the first copy of the first novel ships, these series have no chance (barring the aforementioned miracle) of selling more than their initial order. From that first day, their authors are Dead Writers Walking, but won’t know it for three books. When the last copy of the initial order sells, (or is stripped and destroyed for being that lonely spined-out invisible copy on the shelves), you’ll never see it in that bookstore again. Not even if it’s the first book of a series.

So, in this desperate new world of corporate bookselling, how do miracles happen?

Miracles happen when readers handsell the book to other readers, and people go into chains or indies and request the book and take the time to special-order it, and beat booksellers over the head with how much they loved it and how much the bookstore needs to keep it on the shelves (which works for indies but is essentially wasted effort with chains). Miracles happen for midlist writers about as often as they happen for anyone else—in other words, not so much. Maybe a dozen novels a year, marked for failure, will rise naturally out of the midlist, saved by reader word-of-mouth, and force corporate beancounters to take notice. Forces of nature like Oprah can make that happen for another dozen or so novels. Everyone else continues the slow march toward doom.

And if the miracle doesn’t happen for Midlist Writer? Then the computerized sales returns will note that of the 1000 copies of Midlist Writer’s New Novel ordered, only 900 sold. 90% is a fantastic, walk-on-water sell-through, indicating a strong market for the book that should encourage a buyer to order MORE than 1000 copies next time, but never mind that. The computer spits out the fact that Midlist Writer’s New Novel sold 900 copies, so Corporate Buyer, who almost certainly hasn’t read the book, hasn’t talked to a single reader about the book, and looks at the book as no different than Cans of Tuna, Brand A, will order 900 copies of Midlist Writer’s Next Novel. More chains will receive one copy or no copies, more books will be spined out, a higher percentage, unseen, will be destroyed, and by the time the third book, Midlist Writer’s Best Novel EVER, comes out, Corporate Buyer will order his computerized magic number of 500 copies, of which perhaps half will sell, because no store got more than one copy, many stores got none, the book was universally spined out, the other two books in the series are long gone, and so the book is invisible and the series is dead.

Unless indies have handsold the books in mad numbers, Midlist Writer’s editor will look at the Midlist Writer Death Spiral, with the first book shipping many copies and having a high sell-through, the second book shipping fewer copies and having a poorer sell-through, and the third book shipping pitifully few copies and a bad sell-through, and the editor will say (after all these years and all those books, I can do this one by heart):

The books did not sell as well as we would have liked. We aren’t interested in any more books in this series.

If Midlist Writer is lucky, Editor will then say:

We would like to see something from you in a different setting, or of a different sort (or under a different name).

End result, the series is dead, but the writer may go on.

If Midlist Writer is unlucky, Editor will say:

We won’t be picking up your option.

Midlist Writer will then have to go out into the world to find a new publisher, and every potential new publisher will look at Midlist Writer’s last numbers and say, “No, thanks.”

End result, Midlist Writer’s career is dead unless Midlist Writer is willing to write something in a radically different style, about different subject matter, in a different genre, or under a different name.

And most of the time that promising career will be dead even then.

The Glossary (simple enough even a lawyer can understand it)

Bookstore—A business, either brick-and-mortar or online, that consists of inventory (books), and inventory management systems (computers, sales logs, ordering and returning software).

Chain bookstore—(also corporate store, chain store) One of a series of bookstores that operate via a centrally controlled inventory management system, where automatic replenishment (computer reordering) and inventory control (the ordering of new books by known authors) are run by computerized algorithms. These algorithms run unchecked for the vast majority of books in any chain store, though booksellers are able to override them for special cases.

Bookseller—an employee of a bookstore. A human being. Not a building or a website. The word bookseller is no more a synonym of the word bookstore than the word lawyer is a synonym of the words law office. You can walk inside a bookstore (or click its links). You cannot walk inside a bookseller, and booksellers have no links to click. (A nasty attack on me and my career brought on by this article came from one laywer’s inability to understand this fact, so I want to be really clear here.) I do not ever use the terms bookstore and bookseller interchangeably.

Chain bookseller—An employee of a chain bookstore. Also a human being. Not a building or a website. Never mentioned in the article above, because unless chain booksellers across the entire chain are all handselling the same books, by sheer math, the effects of their handselling will almost always be swallowed by the sales numbers from all the stores where the books weren’t handsold. Exceptions exist, where the chain booksellers from one store managed to sell so many copies (hundreds or thousands) that their efforts actually showed up in the computer. These exceptions are so rare they qualify as miracles.

All articles in this series, in order:

You’re On Your Own
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This might be the fact that I feel like Death baked and sliced; it might be that the stupidity of the whole thing is making me scream; it might be that I clearly need at least 24 straight hours of sleep.

But I’ve had it with discussing the world in general, and world crises in particular. Totally had it. You want my solution to everything in American politics? Yes. You do. Here it is.

The freaking corrupt slimeball moron Democrat politicians and political groupies and the freaking corrupt slimeball moron Republican politicians and political groupies need to stop sniping at each other for political gain, and lying about each other to make themselves look good, and they need to realize, stupid bastards that they are, that they are both on the same side. They are both representing the same country. And what is going on outside the country and against the country and its citizens demands that they both put aside their petty backbiting bitchy yipping attempts at cultural and national suicide and work to-freakin’-gether as Americans, for the good of Americans. The same divisiveness that is creating voter apathy and hatred between citizens is weakening the whole nation. Because if we don’t work together—all of us—the allied Islamofasciasts and North Koreans and Russians and Chinese are going to swallow the free world. Including this nicely isolated, but not as isolated as we wish it were, country.

That’s it. That’s my last political post. I’m adding a Knitting section to the blog, and from now on when I’m frustrated with the world, I’m going to knit at you.

But now I’m going to go barf. And sleep. Got a thousand words.