FRIDAY SNIPPET: The Stowaway
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I’m doing Hawkspar copyedits today, so this snippet is fresh in my mind.

This is from Aaran’s POV (Aaran is by this time captain of his own beat-up ship and on his way to rescue Hawkspar). Some of the men have caught a young stowaway on board, and locked him in one of the ship’s cells. Aaran has come in to interview him. This is a middle slice of a much longer scene.


NOTICE: This material is copyrighted, first draft, probably buggy, and possibly not even going to be in the final draft. Do not quote or repost anywhere or in any format. Thanks

“You’ll want to talk to me. I’m captain of this ship, so there’s no higher authority from whom you can beg mercy, and I’m not in a mood to be patient with thieves. We’re in warm waters, now. Sharks in plenty here, and other things that would find someone like you tasty.”

The kid crossed his arms over his chest and turned his face away from Aaran.

“Well, see,” Aaran said. “That’s why I sent the sailor away. I don’t want him to see what I’m going to do to you if you don’t tell me who you are and why you’re on my ship.” Continue reading

Friday Snippet–A piece of the rat scene from Hawkspar
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This is a very short section of an enormous scene in HAWKSPAR, in which the heroine of the story, not yet Hawkspar, is being put on trial for the implied sins of her mentor.


NOTICE: This material is copyrighted, first draft, probably buggy, and possibly not even going to be in the final draft. Do not quote or repost anywhere or in any format. Thanks

We reached the cage, and two of the leather-clad rat-keepers undid the heavy locks that would keep closed the iron gate.

I wanted to scream, “Don’t put me in there!” I wanted to beg for rescue with everything in me. I did not.

Hawkspar had said, To the damned, courage is better than truth. She had sent that message to me at who knew what risk. I had done my best to interpret it. I had made my choice. I had chosen the path of courage—or madness—and it was too late to turn from it. Why, then, shame myself and Hawkspar before I had to? Screaming would not save me, would not change a single second of my fate. It would only offer comfort to those who wanted my death. They’d have their comfort soon enough, when the rats dropped onto me and began to gnaw. I’d scream enough to satisfy them then. The women fed to rats always did.

All I could do as the Onyxes slid me in and my bare skin touched rough, cold metal was close my eyes and pray. To Jostfar, who did not know me, who was the god of a people who had once been mine.. I had been born Tonk, and I would die Tonk. And if I did not shame myself, perhaps my mother would know me as her daughter in whatever place or form in which we might exist after death was done with me.

When I lay with my knees jammed into my chest and my head barely inside the box, the door closed behind me, and I heard the sickening click of the padlocks.

The beating of the drums quickened their pace. All four ratkeepers marched to the cart, and each picked up four rat cages. They returned, set down three of their four cages at their feet, and placed the connectors over the openings that would lead into my cage. Each placed a hand on the lift-up door that would permit the rat inside to move from the back of his cage into the front portion that contained the connector.

The drums beat faster and faster, but never as quickly as my own heart. It hammered against my ribs as if trying to escape.

And then, at their peak, the drums abruptly fell silent.

Hawkspar’s voice echoed throughout the arena. “On my command …”

I clenched my jaws closed, squeezed my eyes as tight as I could—as if those feeble attempts would keep the rats from my eyes or my tongue—and silently begged my mother to find me.
“… first rats now!” Hawkspar said, and I heard the scraping of four metal doors, and the squeaking grew to screeching as claws skittered down four metal tubes.

Four heavy bodies dropped onto me. Sharp points dug into my skin and scrabbled over me, and I felt cold, wet noses press against my flesh, and greasy fur sliding across my breasts and belly and face, and scaly, heavy tails draping along my skin.

[blenza_autolink 42]

Finally back to work
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Writing of any variety hasn’t been going too well the last few days. Stress doesn’t go away when things start looking better, because the possibility that they’ll get worse again always exists. But I’m making nice progress on the type-in of the Green Magic proposal right now. It feels good to be writing again.

I finally got a desktop client to work with my weblog, too–the WordPressDash widget. I’ve never bothered with widgets–always found them kind of silly and pointless. But WordPressDash makes it possible for me to post to the weblog without having to open anything or log in. The reason I had so many posts the first year I started blogging was because I had my desktop client open and I reported progress as I was writing. It was a lot of fun, and kept me going. I might find myself sliding back into that format.

Oh, and I know what next Friday’s Snippet is going to be. An excerpt from the Starving Rat Scene in HAWKSPAR.

Missing Time, The HAWKSPAR Copyedit, and a fine line-for-scene
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So in my revision of the Green Magic proposal, I discovered that, in ripping out the first version of the second and third chapters, I’d also managed to remove the hero and heroine escaping from the enemy prison. Yipes. I had about ten minutes of critical missing time while my folks get from inside the prison to the waiting rescue team. Problem is, I had limited space to fix the problem. I mean, chapter two is full and juicy, and chapter three is tight action and runs long anyway, but ends with the line “Then I killed myself,” and I’m not losing that cliffhanger at the end of the proposal because, well … would you?

I went over and over the material, and realized that I could cut about 3000 words from the rescued Version One chapter two down to about 600 if I just shot the hero (lethally) early in chapter two. So that’s what I did.

So we have the heroine breaking the hero out of prison, and the hero getting shot and being half an inch from death, and stuff I’m not going to tell you about, and more stuff I’m not going to tell you about, and then the heroine telling the hero that’s when she killed herself, and after that the synopsis. I’m feeling pretty good about the proposal now.

Got the HAWKSPAR copyedit today. Damn, that’s a tall stack of paper. Homework, has to be done and in by the 19th of next month. For once, I actually have time and don’t have to sweat how I’m going to fit it in. This is a wonderful feeling.

Finally, you have to go take a look at Jay Penney’s revision line-for-scene. It’s really impressive. Bigger than mine for HAWKSPAR.

Cheering you on, Jay.

Oh, oh! My sock recipient got her Serenity, Prosperity, Health socks, and they fit. Hah! That news made my day.

Belated Friday Snippet: Hawkspar
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It’s been a grim week. Got most of the writing done, but it’s been hard. Snippet this week is from HAWKSPAR. Apologies for being so late with it.


NOTICE: This material is copyrighted, first draft, probably buggy, and possibly not even going to be in the final draft. Do not quote or repost anywhere or in any format. Thanks

Before me stood Oracle Tower. Unlike the gray stone from which the rest of the Citadel—from walls to halls to temples to outbuildings—had been built, the founder of the Ossalene Rite had built that tower entirely of deep green volcanic glass, carved at the base to mimic vines climbing its surface, and farther up, to show the faces of men and women peering from between the vines.  

The faces often seemed alive, and always seemed to be watching, peering down on us from their high vantage.   I’d noticed more than once that they never seemed to be in the same place, either. I hated walking past Oracle Tower, nor could I think of a single slave or penitent I had ever known who did not.   The air surrounding it tasted like pain and fear.

It is a part of the magic of the tower that only when someone who belongs within is present does it have doors. It is an otherwise-solid mass of glass—no army could force its way inside uninvited, for there would be no inside to the tower. Nor could any who had no business there pass. The slaves and penitents have all heard this, as I had heard it.   Yet I did not understand what that meant until the Obsidians pushed me forward.  

"Touch the wall," one said.

I touched cool, smooth glass, and felt a vibration beneath my fingertips.

The glass curled away from me, shaping itself into an arching doorway. Light began to glow within the tower, and by it I could see stairs forming themselves in front of me, spiraling upward around the inside of smooth, glossy walls. I took a step back, frightened—the air that rolled out from the tower had a stink to it that drove like a spike straight into my brain. Something obscene waited inside the tower, and I would have offered anything to be spared walking through that arch or up those stairs.

One of the Obsidians behind me said, "We may not pass."

The other said, "I was instructed by the Oracle Hawkspar to give you a single piece of advice. Hawkspar said: To the damned, courage is better than truth ."

I turned to stare at her.   "What does that mean?"

"I could not say," she told me.   "You’ll have to discover its meaning on your own." And then she put her hand to the small of my back and shoved me forward. "Go. You are to wait until the Oracles join you. You would be well-advised to pray."

I stumbled though the arch just as the seru rang the bells of Basmam, third quarter of dark, and I felt the doorway suck itself shut behind me. I refrained from turning only out of sheer willpower; I knew if I saw there was no longer a door behind me, I would panic. I would run. In the faintly green-glowing darkness of Oracle Tower, I sensed that panic would have consequences I could not imagine, and would not desire.  

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News on HAWKSPAR
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I can barely believe this, and I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop.

But…

Tor is printing out galleys now for HAWKSPAR, and will be sending a few to me.

Without cutting the book in half and printing it as two books. Without me cutting 60,000 words from the text.

According to Robin, it’s to be printed in one volume and intact.

I can’t believe it. I’m jubilant.

I don’t have a release date yet. I’ll see if I can get one.

So now that I’m done…
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Okay. The Mac sending mail sound has just echoed across the computer, which means the finished Ruby Key is on its way to my agent, Robin. I’m pretty wiped out, but very happy with the book. It wrapped at 63,000 words, which was well within my target zone, the new ending worked beautifully, (though I was revising and adding and changing things right up until the last word).

I’m done. It’s sort of starting to sink in. I’m done. (Until the revision requests, anyway.)

I have to do income tax stuff next—never fun, and that will take me about three days, I’m guessing.

And then?

Well, the Create A Plot Clinic.

Revising chapters two and three on the Green Magic proposal, and sending that back.

Hawkspar, when I get the revision requests.

Outlining the sequel to The Ruby Key.

A couple of Cadence Drake novellas or novelettes.

C.

The Sympathy for the Devil screenplay, which will probably undergo a title change to The Devil and Dayne Kuttner.

Lots of things to do. Figuring out priorities and scheduling all of them will be…interesting.

On HAWKSPAR
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On my fifteen-minute stretch break, so this will have to be fast. Got news this morning that Anna Genoese is leaving Tor on the 20th, and that I’ll have a new editor. Anna says she’ll finish the edits on HAWKSPAR before she leaves, but obviously I won’t be able to finish them by the end of March (the previous due date), so at this point pretty much everything is up in the air.

I can’t say when the book will be out. Once my new editor and I have had a chance to talk, I’ll know more, and will pass on what I can.

………. strange karma continues ………….

Quick Update
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Deadline 1: Got the GREEN MAGIC proposal off to Robin a couple days ago, heard back from her yesterday with revision requests (very small—overall, she was excited about the proposal), made the revisions over a couple of hours yesterday and resent the complete package, and that will go off to the editor, possibly today.

Deadline 2: I have Writer’s X’s manuscript (very good story) down to one small final section, and then I’ll do the overall crit letter. I’m still good to have that in the mail on the 15th.

Deadline 3: Next comes completion of THE RUBY KEY. I’ve been dreaming segments of this lately, always a sign that my subconscious is ready to play nice. I’ll start into that on Tuesday, and with that, will resume more regular posting, chronicling the progress of the story, plus the usual off-topic stuff.

Not looking any farther forward than Deadline 3 at the moment. I know 4: Hawkspar rewrite, and 5: 2nd 60,000-word YA, are out there. But for the moment, everything is giving the pleasant illusion of being under control and on time, so I’ll just enjoy that while I can.

The rewrite has been all-consuming.
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The first draft of the Green Magic proposal went quickly. The second draft took another two days of massive work, because, well, I’m picky as hell and I ripped the first draft to shreds.

It’s done, it’s a bit longer, and I’m doing type-in now, and will be working late into the night.

The rest of the week will go to the Writer X novel crit, which I need to have in the mail on the 15th in order to have time to finish writing THE RUBY KEY and getting that into the mail by the end of March, which has to be done by then so that I can do the re-revision of HAWKSPAR before it’s too late to keep that book on the schedule (but the edit letter hasn’t arrived yet, so I may still have a wee bit of time on that. (And there’s one on-spec proposal that has to be fitted into all of this, yet, and the possibility of the completion of an in-progress novel. Before the end of April.)

My office is still a mess.