Friday Snippet: Green Magic I
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Unbelievably, it’s already Friday again. So here’s my Snippet.

Here’s the setup. Elli, having broken into a secure enemy installation, has rescued Tom from the cage. The two are working their way down a corridor in the dark when two maintenance guys enter the corridor behind them and get a lightbulb and a ladder from a supply closet.


NOTICE: This material is copyrighted, first draft, probably buggy, and possibly not even going to be in the final draft. Do not quote or repost anywhere or in any format. Thanks

The duct was big, and at floor level, and in the unlit corridor–still unlit thanks to a government-issue EMP pistol with which the had earlier turned out lights and shut down alarms–she and Tom remained hidden from the men walking behind.
But she heard the men setting up the ladder, and one man climbing it.

With her goggles on infrared, she could see the duct she needed. It wasn’t that far, but she and Tom were moving too slowly.

She didn’t dare say anything to Tom; the men were being quiet and she didn’t dare push her shield that hard. But she squeezed Tom’s hand and pulled him forward. He broke into a limping trot, and kept up with her.

Behind her, glass scraped on the ceiling and screws clattered against it as the man on the ladder removed the light cover. More scraping as he pulled out the old light bulb.

That old light bulb would have been fine–her EMP blast would hold for about half an hour, and at the end of that time, the light would have come back on by itself.

She was about to the end of her half hour, she knew. So the odds were good that when the man put the new bulb in the socket, it would work.

She reached the duct and carefully removed the already-unscrewed cover.

She heard the new bulb scraping into the socket.

She dropped to hands and knees and climbed in, and Tom O’Riley, using strength and grace she suspected he could ill afford, slipped in behind her, turned and grabbed the cover, and pulled it into place.

She lifted her mask, reached around him, and popped chewing gum she’d had in her mouth onto the top of the grille. With luck, that would keep it in place if someone jarred the floor while running past.

"Nice," he whispered.

"Thanks."

Through the grille’s slits, light suddenly poured into the vent, and Elli’s heart gave a double-thud. That had been too close.

[blenza_autolink 42]

2111 words written today
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My current project wordcount is 9,808. I managed to move the story to the point where Tom discovers that he and Elli are going into a life-or-death mission, and that she has at least titular control of the mission. And he’s found out how much is riding on their success.

I’d hoped for twice as many words, but exhaustion and lack of focus due to things going on elsewhere in my life right now leave me grateful that I managed to get as far as I did.

I may have to revise my wordcount downward for tomorrow, too, and just count on finishing the first draft chapters on Saturday, and the write-in and type-in revisions Sunday and Monday.

Back to Green Magic
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Took Monday and Tuesday off because Matt had them off–his first two days off together since everyone in the house was so sick we couldn’t move. My writing schedule has changed to fit his work schedule—later start times, more irregular hours, and days of when he gets them rather than on the weekends in planned fashion. Otherwise we would barely get to see each other.

So the weblog will have some weekend entries again.

Meanwhile, I’m pushing hard to get the Green Magic proposal finished soon, so today is going to need to be a big word day. 4000 words minimum today–the length of one full chapter.

4000 tomorrow. A day or two to revise, and then I want to ship. Watch the progress bar for updates–this will be a challenge.

Friday Snippet–Green Magic I–Chapter 1
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This is the first 40% of Chapter One in the first book of the series project that I’m calling Green Magic, the part marked “Out of the cage” on its index card. In spite of the fact that if it sells it’s the first section of a pseudonymous category romance, I think my regular readers, men included, may still like this section. So I’m giving it a shot and posting it here.


NOTICE: This material is copyrighted, first draft, probably buggy, and possibly not even going to be in the final draft. Do not quote or repost anywhere or in any format. Thanks

Chapter One

In the darkness just outside his cage, a voice murmured, "Don’t move, don’t make a sound. I’m getting you out of here."

Tom O’Riley, beaten, bleeding and bound at wrists and ankles, lying in a fetal position in the cage where his captors had left him, decided he was probably hallucinating. The voice was a woman’s, a soft contralto that sent shivers down his spine. The few faint outlines of her body that he could make out in the darkness curved deliciously. And she was alone. In a hellhole like this.

So she couldn’t possibly be real.

Tom hadn’t heard a woman’s voice in over a month, since he and two members of his five-man team had been taken prisoner.

He hadn’t heard a friendly voice in three days, since Merrick had been dragged from his cage, not to return. Stikes had fallen off Tom’s radar two days before that.

He’d become the last survivor, in the hands of men who hated Americans and who had captured him as he and his team were rescuing a kidnapped American mother and her three kids from the foreign-national husband who had dragged them back to squalor and captivity in his home country.

Tom knew he was going to die soon. He’d been humiliated, beaten, tortured, starved–and he knew damned well the only reason he still lived was because Stikes and Merrick had died with some secrets still untold.

He was the enemy’s last chance to find out who had sent the team, who else knew about the location of the kidnapped Americans, and who–if anyone–knew the true nature of the location from which they’d been rescued. But the bastards had to figure they were running out of time, if they hadn’t run out already. Tom might still be breathing for another twenty-four hours. Probably less.

And now…hallucinations.

Starvation and lack of water were finally finishing him off. He was seeing people, hearing voices–he was plagued by wishful thinking and a deteriorating mind in what were certain to be the last hours of his life.

His hallucination knew her way around a lockpick, though.

She knelt by the lock at his back, and he lay watching her as best he could from his awkward angle. He had to twist his head around, and even then he could only see part of her with one eye. She worked in shadows and dressed in black—skin-tight, light-absorbent black—with a mask over her face and what he had to guess were infrared goggles covering her eyes.

With a faint click, the door came open, and she touched his wrists, and picked the lock on his handcuffs. He could feel the warmth of her hand through the thin layer of soft, silky gloves. Could a dying man feel a hallucination, he wondered. No. He didn’t think so. In spite of her unlikeliness, the odds had shifted in his favor. She was probably real. And probably rescuing him.

Suddenly he wished she were a man–he was naked and starved and filthy, beaten and broken, and he didn’t care if a man saw him like that. But he had no doubt he would repulse a woman.

And then he shook his head. The stupid things men thought of when they were dying, or were likely to be dying at any time.

Sensation started returning to his hands. They hurt. A lot. Meanwhile, the woman rested her hands on the manacles around his ankles.

And both of them heard footsteps. He jumped. She didn’t twitch. She made no effort to hide. She simply sat there for a moment, head down, as still as frozen night, with her breathing gone deep and slow–and he felt cold energy blast through him. It made him shiver and lifted the small hairs on the back of his neck straight up.

She turned to him and put a finger to where her lips would be under the black mask, while both of them could still hear those footsteps coming closer, and she went back to work on the manacles around his ankles. At the same instant, very close to the room in which Tom and the unknown woman waited, a cell phone rang, and the guard answered it.

"I’m checking on the prisoner," the guard said in Tarifit, a dialect of Berber.

A pause, while a voice Tom could not make out shouted over the phone.

"I’ll go check," the guard said, sounding like he was trying to placate a crazy man. Tom heard the click of the cell phone being closed, and then a heavy sigh. The footsteps receded down the corridor and died away into silence.

The woman muttered, "Thank you," and kept working on the lock that held the manacles in place around his ankles.

"There," she said after another moment. Then, "Can you walk?"

The trick with the phone bothered him. Did she have a team member outside who’d managed to place that call–to exactly the right guard’s cell phone, and in perfect Tarifit, and in a voice the guard recognized as one in authority? Or had she perhaps set off some sort of diversion elsewhere, and it was just luck that the guard got called away.

But she hadn’t been worried. So he asked, "How did you do that?"

"I didn’t do anything. Can you walk?"

She had done something. He’d felt that burst of cold blast through him from her while her head was lowered. But he didn’t press her. If she had new tech, he’d just wait until he had the chance to get an up-close look at it. They weren’t in a good place for an exciting chat about R&D hardware, anyway. And if, as the creeped-out feeling at the back of his neck suggested, she was pulling a Raven…well–later would be the time to deal with that, too. So he crawled out of the cage and pulled himself to a standing position, doing his best to hide his agony in the process. The room spun crazily for a moment, then steadied. He felt like hell–his captors had left no part of his body unharmed, from the soles of his feet which they’d whipped until they bled, to body parts they’d electroshocked, to the fingers they broke, and the hands they’d bound so tightly they were still tingling to painful life. He wanted a stretcher, his four best friends, and a Huey with a MedEvac team hovering overhead.

But the black-clad woman was still alone, and his best guess was that the two of them were walking out. She sure wasn’t big enough to carry him.

"I’ll manage," he told her.

"Then come on. You can lean on me when you need to." He heard the sympathy in her voice. It goaded him a little, made him want to prove that he could carry his own weight. Something in the line of her body, in the richness of her soft voice, made him need to have her see him as a warrior, not as a victim. "We have clothes and other things you’ll need in the van," she added, and he felt relief that she did have a team. Somewhere.

"But I couldn’t carry them in with me," she continued. "So for now, you have to do two things, or we’ll both end up dead faster than you can imagine. You have to stay no farther than a foot from me at all times, and you have to hold my hand."

He considered that for a moment. Staying no more than a foot from her sounded pretty good. His mind dipped for just an instant from the very important issue of getting his ass out of there before he died, to the distraction of his rescuer. She was tall but curvy, and that voice of hers made him remember other types of desire besides water, and food–and safety.

But…safety. Right.

He focused on business. "You have some sort of new invisibility technology?"

She looked at him sidelong. He wished he could see her face–he sensed amusement in her gaze, but her eyes didn’t give him enough information.

"Something like that," she told him, and the voice verified what the eyes suggested. His question had amused her.

They started forward, and she kept them to shadows. She moved quickly, though, much faster than he would have dared move had he been relying solely on stealth. The speed they were making hurt like hell. So did her grip on his broken fingers and battered hand.

"So who are you?" he whispered.

"You don’t yet have need-to-know clearance for that," she said. "And I suppose I should have mentioned the third thing you can’t do while we’re moving is talk."

Right. He should have figured.

[blenza_autolink 42]

Plot Outline done for Green Magic One
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I had a couple folks ask how I would do headers on the plot cards. So I took a picture of the outline view of my plot card outline for Green Magic I.

This is done in Scrivener; your results will look different depending on what you’re using to outline your book. But…

The entire project is in a folder titled (ever so imaginatively) Draft. The working synopsis is the green rectangle beneath it. That holds my short description, main character arc, theme, and cover copy description. Then I have my character list–each character has a short description that I can roll over at any time with my cursor, so that the names of my folks are in front of me all the time, plus pertinent details about their appearances, jobs, etc.

Following that is the title, and then the book divided into three beats. It alsol follows Three-Act Structure, but you’ll see that the actual acts, Gathering the Players, Intensifying the Situation, and Resolving the Conflict, do not land at the same place as the story beats.

At the far left of every other title, C[#] marks off each chapter (you can see I’m doing two scenes per chapter), each card has a title that cues me in to what the main action of that scene will be, and the necessary word count I have to hit to come in on deadline at length, and within the specifications for the book. This is a line romance with a requirement for 60%-40% heroine-hero viewpoints. Having the cards marked off this way will keep me on track.

Plot Card Rollover View--image smaller than actual sizeI can see the contents of each card as I roll the cursor over it, preventing me from ever having to click back into the plot-cards working view, but keeping all that information at my fingertips. Plot card corkboard viewHere’s the corkboard with card in place for comparison purposes.

The information in the body of each card is the character POV for each scene and the scene’s main action.

Finally, here’s the titles-only view that I see as I’m actually writing the book. (All of the cards are drag-and-drop, too, to make in-progress revision simple.

And to the cries of “Where’s the creativity in the midst of all that structure…” well, I like to write sonnets, too. It’s the same process. You learn the rules, you integrate the rules, and then you see just how far outside the envelope you can push you can push your content without breaking the entire structure.

Plot Outline Green Magic I

The writing was going well…until it wasn’t
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I’d gotten around two thousand new words on the Green Magic book—nearly an entire new second chapter. But as I was reading through it, I realized I hated it. I cut everything that didn’t work, and ended up with about 700 new words for the day. It took me ages to get that.

I did have some luck with the ads for Zette’s and Bettye’s books. Inspired by the ad Kankamuso did for me, I came up with something a lot prettier than the ads I’d done previously.


I’ve never had to consider advertising before–what it would look like, what it would say. I don’t have any books about it, but think it might be time for me to get one or two good ones. Meanwhile, though, I think these are a lot less ugly than the ads I came up with the other day.

Today I’ve been working on affiliate stuff
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Here’s an example of what I came up with:

Affiliates can find the new banners for the Holly Lisle’s Writing Clinics under N-L Clinic Series and N-L Plot Clinic.

Tomorrow I’m working on banners for Zette’s 2YN Series and Bettye Baldwin’s Writing the Horse Series.

I’m trying to make the advertising spiffier and more professional.

I’m in the post-book doldrums. I want to snap out of them quickly, though, because I get to use Scrivener to do the next two chapters of the Green Magic book, and I’m excited about that.

Taxes, Green Magic, and Plot Clinic
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I forgot—just flat-out forgot—one huge source of receipts: Stuff I bought via the internet, and for which I received internet receipts. All the other stuff is done, but I’m now going through right at 2000 messages in three separate accounts, looking for everything I spent via the web and dragging them all into their own little folder, and printing them off. Guess what I’ll be much more organized with this year?

As for what I’m doing next? I have to spend a few days rewriting chapters two and three of the GREEN MAGIC proposal so I can resubmit it to an editor who loved the first chapter and wants to see more of that throughout the rest of the book.

Then … Plot Clinic.

So now that I’m done…
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Okay. The Mac sending mail sound has just echoed across the computer, which means the finished Ruby Key is on its way to my agent, Robin. I’m pretty wiped out, but very happy with the book. It wrapped at 63,000 words, which was well within my target zone, the new ending worked beautifully, (though I was revising and adding and changing things right up until the last word).

I’m done. It’s sort of starting to sink in. I’m done. (Until the revision requests, anyway.)

I have to do income tax stuff next—never fun, and that will take me about three days, I’m guessing.

And then?

Well, the Create A Plot Clinic.

Revising chapters two and three on the Green Magic proposal, and sending that back.

Hawkspar, when I get the revision requests.

Outlining the sequel to The Ruby Key.

A couple of Cadence Drake novellas or novelettes.

C.

The Sympathy for the Devil screenplay, which will probably undergo a title change to The Devil and Dayne Kuttner.

Lots of things to do. Figuring out priorities and scheduling all of them will be…interesting.